Is it upsetting for a woman if you go as far as a hotel but don’t—or can’t—go all the way?
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I’m a married male member in my 30s. A woman I parted ways with before penetration because we weren’t compatible or I couldn’t get erect quit the service around the time she met me. I’ve only had a single-digit number of offers so far, but she’s the second woman this has happened with.
Of course, I paid her the allowance for an adult relationship, and since I know I was at fault, I didn’t blame her. I apologized, expressed my gratitude, and we went our separate ways.
To begin with, ever since I was a student, I’ve rarely been able to get erect and perform well unless I’m with someone I feel comfortable with. So if she was so upset that she decided to quit, I feel I need to look back over my life and reflect on how I treated the many women I may have hurt.
I’m a male member, and my username is Paper Airplane.
You must be even more shocked yourself.
Given your age, I think it would be best to take action sooner rather than later.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t think something like that would be enough to put me off. I might worry if he were my boyfriend, but in a dating club, if it just happened by chance with a man I haven’t met very often, it wouldn’t bother me at all.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Everyone sees things differently, but I don’t think any woman would be so shocked that she’d quit the service.
As far as I know, quite a few women with limited experience seem to think that if a man can’t get an erection, it’s because they aren’t attractive enough. That said, it doesn’t seem to be the kind of thing that would shock them into quitting.
With a woman you’ve met several times, if she understands that it isn’t because she lacks appeal, she may still feel frustrated when you don’t reach ejaculation. I use the word “frustrated,” but I also get the sense that it includes a concern that if she can’t keep bringing you to climax, the relationship itself might not continue.
An apology can feel heavy, so I think it’s better to create an atmosphere that says, “This happens to me sometimes, so don’t worry about it too much,” and express your gratitude instead.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I completely understand how you feel. I’ve also lost my erection and been unable to have sex.
If you want to enjoy papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I recommend ED medication. I’ve been taking it for three years, and I haven’t experienced any side effects.
I’ve put together a column about ED medication:
https://universe-club.jp/column/sekirara12
Hope you find it helpful.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this as well.
> We ended things without getting to penetration because he couldn’t get hard.
I think it also depends on how much effort you made the woman put in during that time.
If you made her keep trying for dozens of minutes, she might start thinking, “I’m not a sex worker, so why am I doing this?”
If you can’t get hard, I think it would be better to decide from the start that you’ll just talk, or that you’ll only touch her yourself.
If you’re hoping, “Maybe it’ll happen,” I think you should decide within the first minute whether it’s possible or not.
If you’re still not hard after a minute, make that decision and either continue with conversation or shift things in another direction.
Apparently, some women also dislike being made to give oral sex endlessly.
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There’s no way she’d be so shocked by something like that that she’d quit.
I don’t think she was particularly hurt, either.
She’s either pretending to have quit, or if she really did, there must be another reason.
Marika
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I’m in Seattle.
So even men in their 30s get discouraged, and their partner can sense it too.
It’s okay. I’m in my late 40s, and that happens to me all the time. Lately, it’s been happening more than half the time. I’ve gotten so used to it that I’m past worrying about it.
Just make the other parts enjoyable. Don’t reduce the allowance because things don’t work out. If it seems impossible, I wrap things up within 30 minutes rather than dragging it out.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’m married and in my 30s too. Don’t worry about something like that. Just take some medication. I do, lol.
The stuff I ordered recently just arrived, so if you want, I could even share some with you.
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