Is it really not okay to bring your valuables into the shower room?

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, answering as well. > Is it not okay to take my valuables with me into the shower room? It’s not forbidden. Especially when you’re with someone for the first time, I think you should take them with you. > When I did that, my monthly arrangement partner said, “You don’t trust me, do you?” Since it’s true, I think you could simply say, “I’m a little more cautious than most people—sorry.” > How can you trust someone you’ve only been seeing for a few months or years? Normally, I think you’d start to trust someone after a year or so. But if you don’t trust someone, you can’t be betrayed either. So even if you’ve been together for 50 years and still don’t trust them, I think that’s fine—it depends on the person. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to do whatever you can to protect yourself. In the United States, there’s apparently a culture of carrying guns for self-defense, with firearms kept in many households for protection. > There are also many women on social media whose IDs were photographed while they were in the shower and whose identities were exposed. It would be strange not to be cautious. Exactly. That said, there are also men who would never do such a thing. From their perspective, I think they simply want to be trusted. Still, taking whatever precautions you can is only natural, rather than making information public without protecting yourself. The important thing is not to treat the other person as suspicious, but to maintain an attitude of, “I’m just very cautious by nature, so please understand.”

I’m a male member, BB7. If you’re very cautious and want to bring your belongings with you, then that’s what you should do. That said, I don’t think it’s strange for a man to see that and think, “Does she not trust me?” It’s nonsensical to expect him not to think that. You can’t control what other people think, and the other person has their own will, actions, and values. It’s fundamentally wrong to expect someone to act or think exactly the way you want them to—or to believe that they’re supposed to. Some people are very relaxed about letting their guard down, while others are extremely cautious. That’s just how people are. Arguing over who’s right or wrong is pointless. All it means is, “I’m a very cautious person.” Telling someone, “You should be more cautious too!” is simply none of your business.

Karasaki from Universe Club Customer Success here. I don’t know how long you’ve been seeing this papa, but generally speaking, you can’t trust someone you’ve only met a few times. That’s only natural. However, bluntly telling him that you don’t trust him would be terrible communication. You could explain that you take these precautions even with family or a romantic partner you trust completely, so it’s not something you’re doing specifically because of him. He may understand.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious. If someone makes you feel strange for being wary, then you leave your valuables behind anyway and end up becoming a victim, you’ll regret it forever. I think a man who says, “You don’t trust me, do you?” is the one being unreasonable. Even if you’re seeing each other, you’re still strangers, so he would never say that if he naturally understood that it’s only fair for you to be cautious.

I’m Fuu, a columnist. No, that’s not wrong at all. I take my bag with me to the shower room too. I once had cash stolen by a PJ, and, incidentally, my spare condoms were taken as well (lol). I gave the club feedback about it. That said, I casually take my bag with me without making it obvious, so that a regular PJ I care about doesn’t feel uncomfortable and think, “Does she not trust me?” If I were asked, I’m prepared to answer, “I have mouthwash in there.” I really do carry a travel-size one with me, so I’ve never actually been asked. Rather than replying bluntly and sounding irritated, why not answer smoothly? For example, you could say, “I have my makeup pouch in there.” Once your papa (a male supporter) accepts that explanation, he probably won’t ask again. Even though money is involved, this is still a relationship between two people. I think it would be easier on you—and more enjoyable for your papa—if you looked for a way to keep things pleasant and relaxed. In the end, your relationship with him may last longer, benefiting both of you. But if you can’t trust him, or the unpleasant feelings outweigh the money, you can always end things. Being able to part ways easily is one of the good things about this arrangement.

I’m Kazu, a male member. There’s nothing wrong with it. That said, whether you feel it’s strange not to be cautious, or whether you take someone being cautious around you as a sign that they don’t trust you, comes down to personal feelings. Neither perspective is inherently right or wrong. If you can’t accept the other person’s way of thinking, you can simply choose not to meet them.