A question mainly for the women here.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Um, maybe they won’t do those things because that’s what you’re focused on? I think most women would normally do them. Also, I don’t get the sense that you feel grateful to the woman, grateful that you met her, grateful to the club, grateful to be alive, or grateful—and happy—to be spending time with her… Your whole vibe, questioner, is nothing but complaints…

I’m Meg, a female member. > Extra allowance, shopping, and I often give gifts as well. Aren’t you a wonderful papa (a male supporter)? So why can’t you seem to meet any decent papa-katsu girls? That’s the mystery… I always think about bringing something for my favorite papa each time, and I’m constantly wondering, “What could I do to make him happy?” I actually enjoy spending time thinking about those things♪ My papa also often brings souvenirs for my children. They’re expensive treats we normally wouldn’t buy ourselves. We’re always very grateful to receive them.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. I completely understand how you feel. I’m basically the type who loves to spoil people, so I’m exactly the same—I’ll give them their allowance plus a little extra, buy them gifts, and do everything I can to make them feel pampered. But if I get absolutely nothing back—not even the slightest sign of appreciation or affection—then, despite having gone all out for them, I suddenly go completely expressionless, mutter, “What a waste of effort,” and end things with her.

When I’m going on a date with a papa (a male supporter) who comes to pick me up, I’ll sometimes grab a coffee from Starbucks, Doutor, or somewhere near our meeting place and bring it along to drink in the car. I’ll also occasionally pay with Suica when he’s looking for coins at a convenience store. Sometimes I’ll buy sweets for us to eat together at the hotel. These are the kinds of everyday gestures I often make. Most of them are married, so it’s rare for me to give them a tangible gift. When I was seeing a stylish papa before, I would give him small items like leather accessories. I’m trying to figure out what to do for the papas whose first birthdays with me are coming up. Marika

I’ll answer as Maezawa from the President’s Office as well. > I’d be happy even with chocolate bought at a convenience store. I think it would help to work comments like that into the conversation from time to time. For example: “A junior colleague bought me THE Chocolate for work the other day. I didn’t realize they sold chocolate like that these days.” Regardless of the price, it feels nice when someone puts thought into even a small gift. If you mention things like that repeatedly—not just chocolate, but coffee or tea as well—I think the women you meet will eventually start bringing you something. Some time ago, a woman asked whether she should bring a small present when meeting a man for the first time. Most of the answers said things like, “You don’t need to do that.” After that, I somehow stopped hearing from women who brought small gifts. I wonder if that was influenced by the answers on the site. Personally, though, I feel the same as the person asking this question: a woman who gives you something small, like biscuits or chocolate, seems thoughtful and lovely. > Needless to say, I give the allowance we agreed on. But I often add extra allowance, take her shopping, or buy her presents because I want to see my PJ’s happy face. That’s impressive. However, I also get the feeling that you may not be using your money very effectively. For example, if the agreed allowance is ¥30,000 and you add another ¥10,000, a woman who was hoping for ¥50,000 may not appreciate it very much. In that case, it may be better to offer ¥70,000 from the start rather than adding extra afterward. Some women may then see you as someone who gives a generous allowance. It’s not a perfect comparison since the amounts are different, but if you find out how much allowance the woman is hoping for and promise slightly more than that, it will probably leave a better impression than simply adding a little extra to the original agreement. Shopping works the same way. This can be quite a difficult world to navigate, so it seems that you need a strategy when deciding how to spend money on women. Even with the same allowance, something as simple as taking her to a slightly upscale restaurant with a private dining room can change how she sees you far more than the amount of the allowance itself. The things that matter vary from woman to woman, but that’s also what makes this world interesting—you get to discover new things, even if figuring them out can be difficult at first. I think you should try different approaches and learn what works.

I’m Aya, a female member. I do give gifts to papas I’ve been seeing for a long time—and especially to the ones I really like. The other day, I noticed that one papa’s business bag was getting old, so I’m planning to go shopping with him after Golden Week and buy him a new one as a gift. But when I told him about my plan, he said, “Then I’ll buy you a ○○→[your name] bag,” so it looks like we might end up exchanging gifts. Also, when we were supposed to meet on a day he was extremely tired from work, I bought an imagawayaki from a shop near the station and gave it to him, saying, “Have something sweet and cheer up.” Later, he told me, “Thanks. That really made me feel better,” which made me happy too. Not everyone does this, but there are people who give gifts on this level. There are related questions in the Q&A box from time to time, so maybe try searching for “gifts.” It could simply be that the person asking the question hasn’t happened to meet anyone like that yet.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I don’t think that’s very gentlemanly. You’re free to think that way, but turning it into a question doesn’t seem gentlemanly to me. That said, in reality, women sometimes pick up a drink for you at Starbucks when they’re getting one for themselves, right? I’ll try to pay them back, but sometimes they refuse, so it ends up being their treat. Also, some women occasionally bring a small gift when we meet.