I had plans to meet a man I recently met here for the second time soon.
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The day before yesterday, I messaged him on LINE saying, “I’ve had so many expenses lately that I’m about to go bankrupt,” but he read it and never replied.
Then, a little while ago, he sent me this:
“Good evening.
I’ve thought about it carefully since then, but I’ve decided to call it off after all. I’m sorry.”
Why do you think he said this?
I’m Aya, a female member.
If you’re wondering, “Why is that?” … unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll have much luck making money through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Girls who are good at earning money generally don’t ask themselves questions like that in the first place.
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It sounds like you don’t want to be involved with either a woman who could drive you into bankruptcy or one who would lie about being bankrupt to try to get money out of you.
Marika
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I’m BB7, a male member.
This question has to be a joke or just bait posted to kill time, right?
If you’re genuinely asking in all seriousness because you really don’t understand why this is happening, you should probably go back to kindergarten.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well.
> Why do you think this happened?
I can’t say without more information, but if I had to speculate:
When you met for the first time, you told him, “The allowance I’m looking for is ¥80,000,” and he agreed because he thought that was fine.
But after he got home and thought about it, he may have felt, “¥80,000… that’s pretty steep.” Still, because he wanted to see you again, he decided it might be worth paying.
While he was having those conflicting feelings, he received a message saying:
“I’ve had a lot of expenses lately and I’m about to go bankrupt.”
“About to go bankrupt?”
He may have started thinking things like:
“If we meet again, she might ask me to lend her money,”
or
“She might ask me to increase the allowance.”
He may also have thought, “If she’s struggling badly enough to be on the verge of bankruptcy, I probably won’t be able to enjoy seeing her after this.”
That may have led him to conclude:
“I’ve thought about it a lot since then, but I’ve decided it’s better to stop after all. I’m sorry.”
So, even when you meet a new man in the future, I don’t think it’s best to talk about being on the verge of bankruptcy or anything similar right away.
Alternatively, you could wait until you’ve met more than ten times, become closer, and figured out whether he’s the kind of man you can safely discuss those things with.
I think that kind of judgment is important too.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
We agreed to meet a second time, but after thinking it over, I guess she decided not to go through with it after all.
Was she just a money-grubber?
Did she have someone else?
Or both?
I suppose men have all sorts of reasons too.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If you can discuss the allowance and your financial situation over LINE, that person is a real money monster. And not just any money monster—they’re extremely…
They’re very rare. What’s more, they see the other person as nothing more than someone they don’t care about.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Is the bankruptcy story actually true, or was it just a setup to get him to hand over money? Since she wrote about it in the Q&A box, I’m guessing it’s the latter.
That kind of thing doesn’t go over well at a dating club. You see it in the adult entertainment industry, especially overseas, but usually only after a more carefully planned setup has been established. Pulling that on the second meeting? No way—especially not at a dating club. If you’re going to do it, you need to handle it much more carefully. Otherwise, the person being deceived doesn’t even get anything out of it.
The man she was seeing seems like a genuinely great person. He read her message, took it in, thought about it for two days, and then sent a proper reply, right? He seriously engaged with such an outrageous story—that was very decent and manly of him. If they had built a proper relationship, he might even have helped her wholeheartedly.
Not every man who makes an offer is a good one, either. You really threw away a rare lucky break. That man probably came away with a bad impression of dating clubs, too.
What a shame all around.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it’s better to bring up things like that after you’ve gotten to know each other better. If someone I’ve been seeing for a while and grown attached to told me she was in trouble, I’d help her out. But if a woman I’d only met once on a first date said that to me, I’d be put off.
Wouldn’t you be put off if someone you’d only met once asked to borrow money?
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