I have something to say to male members.

I’m in Seattle. I think he’s trying hard to stay focused because he feels like he might lose interest. Personally, if I get tired, I’ll stop even if I haven’t finished. But if the conversation is enjoyable, I can keep going.

I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane. You’re absolutely right. (I’ve heard women complain about this too.) A man’s job is to make a woman happy, yet these men make women uncomfortable instead—they’re complete idiots. There’s no way a man can truly be satisfied if the woman isn’t enjoying herself. If most men aren’t like that, then I suppose it can’t be helped. Thanks to the existence of men like that, women are able to appreciate the good ones even more and be that much more impressed. In any case, you don’t need to continue seeing men like that.

> When he can’t finish the first time and takes a break, then gets aroused again after the woman licks his nipples or gives him oral sex, finally finishing on the second round—is it because my body just doesn’t turn him on...? > It’s made me lose a little confidence. That may be part of it. Though I think it’s less about your body and more about your attitude. When a man who’s normally able to have sex loses his erection, it’s almost always due to his mental state. The more you think, “Hurry up and finish,” the more he may pick up on it. If you’re thinking, “This feels so good—don’t finish yet!” he might climax in no time. Marika

Maezawa from the President’s Office here, answering as well. Interesting take. Actually, men from the Showa era were afraid of finishing too quickly. Since there was no internet back then, being a premature ejaculator carried the stigma of being a “bad man.” That mindset has stuck around, so even now, their default is to hold back. However, as they age, their sensitivity declines, and they may not realize that they’re no longer actually finishing too quickly. So after holding back and thinking, “Not yet, not yet, not yet,” they eventually run out of stamina. Their heart can only keep up for so long, leaving them with no energy to send blood where it needs to go, and they lose their erection. So I don’t think it’s really about feeling that it would be a waste to finish right away. It’s more that they simply don’t want to be seen as a “bad man” for finishing too quickly. The solution is simple: the questioner just needs to improve her technique. Learn techniques for making someone who takes a long time finish quickly. Once you master that, you can make anyone finish right away. For example, someone who’s good at oral sex can probably make a man finish quickly even when he’s trying to hold back. During sex, you could notice when your partner slows down and move at just the right moment to make him finish, or subtly lend a hand without him realizing it. I’m not entirely sure, but I imagine there are all kinds of techniques. If you want him to finish sooner, work on your own skills first. I think the questioner’s technique is lacking. You simply haven’t studied enough. That said, this is aimed at people who act like, “This old guy is disgusting, his breath stinks, just hurry up and finish.” Before criticizing your partner, recognize your own lack of experience. Women who don’t act that way don’t need to worry about it. (I had a feeling that especially kind women would ask, “How can I learn these techniques?”)

I’m Kazu, a male member. Why not just tell him directly? (笑) They probably aren’t very turned on by someone who makes it obvious they want things to end quickly. Ah, I hadn’t actually answered the question. > Why do you keep holding back even though you lose your chance to climax and then lose your erection? That’s the question, right? It’s not necessarily that he missed the timing. Sometimes he changes his movements to help himself climax, since monotonous stimulation can make it difficult. The urge to climax can come on suddenly, and even the man himself may not fully understand it. Conversely, when he’s really about to climax, it’s often impossible to stop. For example, I once started to climax unexpectedly—even though I hadn’t been told it was okay to finish in her mouth—and although I tried to stop, a little came out. (笑) So I don’t think he’s deliberately holding back.