I’ve met a man four times for dinner only, and next time it looks like we’ll be staying overnight at a hotel. He told me he doesn’t know what the allowance would be if we entered into an adult relationship. If that’s the case, I’d like some back pay. How can I bring it up in a cute way?

This is Saito♪, a columnist. I really don’t understand how you can expect him to buy you a bag when he’s already said he can’t pay any more. Did you honestly think he’d agree if you brought up buying a bag…? Honestly, this sounds like an arrangement you should have ended already…

I’m Papercraft, a male member. Do you mean “not changing” or “not knowing”? Which one is it? If you’re going to keep things as they are, it sounds like you’ve already been receiving a decent allowance. Since it’s not very flattering when someone directly says they want something, how about subtly letting him know that you’re looking for it instead? For example, you could use an unbranded, well-worn bag, wallet, or pair of shoes every time… If you’re already happy with the allowance and the way he treats you, then there should be plenty of chances for him to surprise you with a gift like that. So I think it’s best not to say anything yourself.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office will answer as well. Thank you for your question. > He told me that he doesn’t know what the allowance would be if we became intimate. If that’s what he said, I think you should walk away. “I don’t know” really means “I’m not going to pay.” He may say he wants a romantic relationship, but in reality, you’d just be friends with benefits. He simply wants a woman who will be intimate with him whenever it’s convenient for him. Saying he doesn’t want a relationship involving money means exactly that. Could it be that he only treats you to meals and doesn’t give you any allowance at all? If so, I feel like you’re falling into his trap. He’ll probably say that he doesn’t want to give you an allowance, but would rather give you gifts like a boyfriend would. However, I suspect those gifts would amount to something worth around ¥30,000 at Christmas and on your birthday. If you’re okay with being friends with benefits, I won’t stop you. But you should think carefully about whether that’s truly what you want. > If that’s the case, I’d like a bag. How can I ask him in a cute way? I think you should end things with him. To see the situation for what it really is, tell him the name of the bag you want—something around ¥1 million—and say directly: “I’d like this bag. I’d like you to come buy it with me before we go to the hotel that day.” If he simply doesn’t want to give you a proper allowance but says he’ll give you things you like as if you were a couple, then he should be able to give you a ¥1 million bag. If you were meeting every week, that bag would be equivalent to about two and a half months of allowance at ¥100,000 per meeting, or about five months at ¥50,000 per meeting. So this should help you determine whether he’s refusing to give you an allowance simply because he doesn’t want to spend the money.

I’m Meg, a female member. Eeeeeek!!! You’re really going with someone who says they don’t know what the allowance is? Don’t do it, don’t do it. Spending a long time with someone like that right off the bat would be rough.

I’m Aya, a female member. When he said, “I don’t know what the allowance would be once we have an adult relationship (intimate),” did he dodge the question even though you asked him directly? If so, I can understand why you’d feel uneasy. It’s certainly troubling… If you enjoy being with him and don’t feel drained, then regardless of the allowance, you probably won’t be left with a bad feeling. But if you’re not comfortable with it, I don’t think it would be worth it unless you received a substantial amount. So I think it’s best to maximize your chances of receiving a generous allowance. If it were me, I’d stay overnight with him once and do my very best to make sure he enjoys himself. If you provide the best possible experience during your first overnight stay, he’ll be pleased, which increases the chances that he’ll pay you generously and willingly. If you’ve done your best and still feel that the allowance from your papa (a male supporter) is too low, then that’s probably his limit, so I’d gradually distance myself from him. I’d rather receive money comfortably from someone who is willing to pay than negotiate with someone who doesn’t have the money and pressure him into it. That suits me better. I hope you receive a generous allowance. Good luck!