I’ve been seeing someone on a monthly arrangement for about a year. He gives me a generous allowance, buys me presents, and is very kind, so we have a really good relationship and I’d like to continue it. But recently, I got a boyfriend, and I really love him. The person who supports me is also encouraging me to date my boyfriend. The other day, I had plans to meet my supporter, but I prioritized an appointment with my new boyfriend and asked to reschedule. He understood, but he hasn’t replied with a new date, and I feel like he may be a little put off. I don’t think he minds that I have a boyfriend; maybe he feels that I’m not valuing myself. We’ve also been messaging less on LINE lately. How do you all prioritize your boyfriend and the important person who supports you? If I prioritize my boyfriend too much, my supporter will lose interest too, won’t he?

I’m in Seattle. That boyfriend sounds like a great catch overall, including his qualifications. He wants to get married, and he comes first. If money is your priority, you’ll need to keep your papa happy. If he’s really that generous, I’m sure he’ll find another woman quickly.

Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well. Thank you for your question. > I had plans to meet the person who supports me, but I prioritized an appointment with my new boyfriend and asked to reschedule. That’s the worst. Even if you say it’s okay for her to have a boyfriend, her papa still needs to come first. In other words, she shouldn’t tell her boyfriend about her papa, but she should tell her papa about her boyfriend—that’s how you show that the papa has higher priority. I can also understand why he would feel dissatisfied being compared to a boyfriend who probably won’t be providing any financial support, only to have her prioritize the boyfriend. It would naturally make him think, “Then I’ll change my own priorities and give another woman more attention instead.” Even aside from that, rescheduling plans like this isn’t a good thing. Breaking a promise is something you shouldn’t do as a working adult. Even if you explain the situation and the other person agrees, they’re really only agreeing reluctantly. First, you need to repair your relationship with your papa as soon as possible. As a strategy, I think you should emphasize things like how your boyfriend is being pushy and annoying, how you regret dating him, or how you don’t want to go out with him again even when he invites you. He may ask, “Then why are you still dating him?” In that case, you should turn it into an opportunity to show that while you initially thought your boyfriend was nice, your papa is actually much better. From now on, you should reverse your priorities. If you already have plans with your boyfriend and your papa asks, “How about this day?” you should prioritize your plans with your papa. If you reschedule with your boyfriend, the relationship will probably continue because you both like each other. But with your papa, the relationship could end over something minor. I think you should value him more. There may be better approaches than simply emphasizing that things aren’t going well with your boyfriend, but the bottom line is: your papa comes first. Make sure you show him that repeatedly. If you want to prioritize your boyfriend, then you shouldn’t complain when your relationship with your papa ends. Think carefully about what you want so you won’t regret your decision.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. I’m married myself, so I actually feel more at ease when the other person has a husband or boyfriend too. Besides, being in the number-two position comes with a lot of advantages. In fact, I actively seek out that position. Maybe this way of thinking is unusual too, but guys like me do exist ^^;

I’m Kazu, a male member. It’s not just when you prioritize your boyfriend too much—even showing him the slightest preference will probably turn this man off. When someone treats us as unimportant, we tend to treat them the same way in return. Your priority in this man’s eyes has probably dropped considerably. To restore the balance, I think you should make an effort to win him back by clearly showing, as soon as possible, that you prioritize him over your boyfriend.

I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane. I genuinely hope the women I meet get married or find a boyfriend and become happy, so I can accept them prioritizing their boyfriend. However, there’s a good chance I’ll start seeing other women more often, so it’s inevitable that we’ll gradually grow apart. Unfortunately, if a kind man like the one described in the question changed the appointment for that reason, I doubt there’d be much reason to meet again. You may be better off interpreting “Understood” as “Goodbye.” That way, you’ll be even happier if you do get to meet again. And when you do, be sure to tell him what makes him a higher priority than your boyfriend.