When is the allowance usually given?

I’m in Seattle. I hand over the allowance within two minutes of meeting face-to-face.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. Thank you for your question. > Could this kind of situation lead to trouble? It can. For some reason, there are strange men out there. Some men assume that the woman will receive her allowance at the end, so if she doesn’t say anything, they’ll give her only the transportation fee for the meal under the Universe rules—5,000 to 10,000 yen—and then leave. In other words, the adult relationship was for 0 yen, right? But since the woman received 5,000 to 10,000 yen, she can’t tell whether he simply valued her extremely cheaply or whether she received nothing at all. No—she didn’t receive anything. It means there was no allowance. Naturally, since a dating club involves relationships with compensation, the staff will warn the man. Then he’ll come up with some incomprehensible excuse, saying, “That wasn’t my intention. I’ll make sure to discuss it properly with the woman next time.” In other words, that man was aiming for a relationship without compensation. He probably says he wants a serious relationship. And his logic seems to be that because the woman didn’t bring up the allowance, she had agreed to it. But that’s not what’s actually happening at all. The woman wants to bring it up, but feels unable to. Still, since this is a dating club, surely he’ll pay. And surely he won’t offer such a low amount. That’s what she’s anxiously thinking. And then the man betrays her. Situations like this do happen, although they make up only a small portion overall. Some men say they give the allowance at the end because they’re worried the woman might leave after being paid. But if they considered how anxious the woman feels, they should realize that it’s better to give it to her upfront. Some men dislike being asked to pay at the beginning because it makes them feel like they’re at a delivery-based adult service. But they’re overthinking it. If they can be considerate of the woman, they should be able to pay at the beginning. So, ideally: When you meet, pay the 5,000 to 10,000 yen under the Universe rules before the meal. Then, if you decide to go to a hotel, give her the allowance after entering the room. I think that’s probably best. If you’re really worried, you could also wait until you’re both undressed and pay before anything intimate happens. But in terms of being smooth and considerate, I think it’s more natural to pay once you’re in the room. It’s true that some men dislike being asked for payment. It’s a difficult situation, but it’s important to read the other person carefully and make sure you receive the allowance before anything intimate happens. If you don’t say anything and end up losing out, you’re the one who suffers.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Me? I just hand it over right away. Any chance I get, I give it to her immediately. I just don’t want her to dislike me even a little, lol.

I’m Basil, a male member. I pay the transportation fee for the first meeting upfront, as the club’s rules require. I give the allowance before leaving the room, after saying something like, “I had a great time today. Thank you.” Especially for a first meeting, I understand why a woman might feel anxious and prefer to receive the allowance upfront. In fact, there have been times when we were both watching the time for the last train, I forgot to hand it over, and had to contact her in a panic from the train home. That said, I’ve also had women get scared and leave as soon as we entered the room and things started becoming intimate, or refuse at the last minute, saying they just couldn’t do it after all. I don’t think they meant any harm, but if I’d already paid upfront and they didn’t voluntarily return it, I probably wouldn’t have pressed them to do so—I wouldn’t want things to turn into an argument. I do find myself thinking about avoiding that kind of risk. Paying upfront isn’t the same as paying for sex, but it does feel somewhat like placing an obligation on the other person. From the second meeting onward, there’s already a track record, so I assume women won’t really care when they receive the allowance.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. The club instructs us to give the allowance early on when meeting for the first time, so that women can feel at ease. However, in reality, I get the impression that many men hand it over when the date is over. I’ve also missed the timing on a first meeting and ended up giving it to her at the end of the date. That said, if you’re going to have an adult relationship (intimate) on the first day, I give her the allowance beforehand. In that situation, I think it’s perfectly fine—in fact, women should feel free—to say, “Could I receive it first?” Men should also be considerate enough not to put women in a position where they have to say something like that.

I’m a male member, and my username is Paper Airplane. Whether it’s the first meeting or a subsequent one, I usually hand over the allowance in the car as we’re leaving—similar to the situation you described. For a first adult relationship (intimate), I give it to women who are Type C or closer to Type B (those who place somewhat more emphasis on intimacy and the allowance) before we get into bed. With other Type B women, I hand it over on the way home. If you’re Type C or close to it, I don’t think it would be strange to bring up the allowance first. That said, it’s probably best to judge from the atmosphere whether it really needs to be discussed.

I’m Kazu, a male member. For a first date, I give the transportation money as soon as we enter the restaurant, after discussing the allowance there. If there’s an adult relationship (intimate), I hand it over as soon as we enter the room. From the second date onward, I give it to her as soon as we enter the room. As for whether paying afterward can lead to problems, there is certainly a possibility. To help her feel at ease, I make sure to give it to her before getting into bed.