The papa (a male supporter) who keeps trying to see me weekly for ¥40,000 a month or ¥50,000 per meeting is becoming a burden. It feels too low financially.

Thank you for your question. As the representative, I’d like to answer as well. I can’t thank people like you enough. On behalf of all our employees, please let me express our gratitude. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I’m paid by you. I’m sure you ultimately won’t negotiate the 7. If you were going to, you wouldn’t be asking about it here in the first place, and the answers would probably be along the lines of, “Then just break up.” I doubt anyone would say, “You should treat her better.” The reason you don’t negotiate the 7 is that you know it’s actually risky. You’ll probably try to maintain the balance by shortening the time you spend together or asking him to prioritize your schedule. But then your papa thinks, “Huh? Did I do something to upset her? Was the foreplay too short yesterday?” (He’ll usually worry about something completely off the mark.) Then one day, your papa asks you: “Did I do something to upset you? I always pay your allowance without trying to negotiate it down, I take my time with foreplay, I keep myself clean, and I even study by reading the Q&A here. Did something happen? Did you find another papa?” And you put on a truly convincing performance: “No, I’m just a little tired. Work has been tough, too. Honestly, I’d love to live a life where I could casually work part-time at a café and wait for my papa to come home, but I can’t make a living that way…” “Sorry, I didn’t mean to complain. I just thought it would be nice to spend more time with you…” All while hoping he’ll say: “Then I’ll increase your spending money by about ¥20,000. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how you felt.” Nobody becomes the bad guy, the relationship continues, and everyone lives happily ever after. …Yeah, right! Your attitude and the way you indirectly try to negotiate your allowance will eventually become too much of a hassle, and the number of times we check the club’s member page will increase. Seriously, dating clubs can’t stay in business unless men and women break up. But thanks to people like you, we’re able to keep our revenue going. We’re grateful.

It’s your decision, but if you’re not satisfied, you’ll probably feel less stressed if you end the relationship. Sometimes ending things can lead to meeting someone new. Though, of course, that might not happen either. Marika

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. That’s a matter of personal preference, so I don’t think it’s necessarily good or bad. Personally, seeing someone once a week might be a bit much for me. After three months, the way you date often starts to change, so rather than worrying before talking it over, try discussing it with him first. If the outcome gives you something to worry about, then worry about it.

Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well. Thank you for your question. You should probably assume that it’s basically impossible to get your allowance increased partway through the relationship. That’s why the beginning is crucial. It’s a mistake to compromise at first, thinking you’ll be able to negotiate a higher allowance later. That said, if you’re willing to accept his amount for the first meeting to see whether you’re compatible, then from the next meeting onward, you’ll need to negotiate clearly but gently. For example: “Since it was our first time, I agreed to ¥50,000, but my preferred amount is ¥70,000.” You could add something like, “I’d like to keep seeing you because you’re wonderful, but I can’t compromise on the allowance.” > If I cut ties with my current papa, I’ll lose ¥200,000 a month in income—which I put entirely into savings—and that makes me anxious. Since that papa is already paying you ¥200,000 a month, he probably feels that the total amount is reasonable. And anyone can see that losing that income would be a major blow. With that in mind, I think you should continue your current relationship for now while looking for someone who can meet you three times a month at ¥70,000 per meeting. You may temporarily have one additional partner, but I think you should accept that as part of the situation and keep it transactional. Once you’ve confirmed that you can maintain a stable relationship with someone who pays ¥70,000 three times a month, you could tell your current papa: “Would you be able to make the allowance ¥70,000 per meeting? I’d be fine reducing the number of meetings to three times a month.” If he refuses, you can end the relationship. If he agrees, you’ll temporarily have one extra person, but you can decide how to handle that when the time comes.

I’m Kazu, a male member. If the allowance feels too low, I think you should simply end things. If you’re prepared to cut ties, there’s no harm in asking for 70,000 yen per meeting without holding back—even if he decides to drop you. Until you find a replacement papa (a male supporter), you just won’t be able to save money, right? Since other people can’t know whether the allowance is high or low, I won’t comment on that.

I’m in Seattle. How about looking for a new male supporter, C, while keeping A as an option and negotiating with B, even if it doesn’t work out? And if you don’t have enough time, you can drop either B or C. If you want to save money, you probably don’t want to cut back on your allowance.