My papa’s close friend passed away. I’ve been seeing my papa for two years, and he contacted me to say that someone close to him had died. He let slip, “I feel like I’m going to cry.” The person was still in his 40s and apparently looked up to my papa like an older brother. It seems there’s also a possibility that he took his own life due to financial hardship caused by COVID-19...

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. You don’t have to force yourself to empathize with him. Even if you can’t relate, I think it’s enough to simply be there for him when he needs you.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. Thank you for your question. That’s a difficult question. Please pay close attention to the other person’s facial expressions, words, and actions. If they seem different from usual, I think all you need to do is gently be there for them. If they seem the same as always, just continue treating them as you normally would.

I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.” Recently, I was with a girl who had lost someone close to her. While we were together, she received the news of the person’s passing. The cheerful expression she’d had while we were having fun suddenly clouded over, and she couldn’t stop crying. We parted that day, saying she should contact me once she had calmed down. I assumed I wouldn’t hear from her for a while, but she continued to message me fairly regularly, and before long, she suggested we meet. Should she want a change of mood? Would she rather quietly sit with her feelings? Or would she prefer to spend time together without thinking about anything? I considered all sorts of possibilities, but it would have been strange to discuss them in advance. So I decided to be prepared to accept whatever she needed once we met, while trying not to be overly considerate or make things awkward. When we met, we simply went on a date as naturally as possible. I believe your presence has value to the man you’re seeing, so having him feel that may itself bring him comfort and peace. I don’t think you need to force yourself to empathize or grieve with him. If the person who passed away was the most important person in his life, he must also have many wonderful memories of them.