I'm a woman in my late 20s to early 30s. Through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I met people from wealthy backgrounds, which led me to change jobs and start investing. My assets have finally surpassed 50 million yen.
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I know a papa who has continued to thrive ever since he started a business as a student during the IT bubble of the 2000s. He once said something along the lines of, “People who don’t have money have no value.” When I first met him, I thought, “That’s not true at all!” But now that I’ve built up a modest amount of wealth myself, I find that I can relate to him more. I’ve also started looking down on my old female friends who don’t have money and don’t seem to have particularly good personalities. My circle of friends has gotten smaller, and I now only spend time with people I respect.
Perhaps having even a little money has caused me to look down on my less affluent friends. But I simply can’t respect female friends who remain poor without making any effort and depend on men to support their lives. This question has become somewhat rambling, but I want to stop looking down on people this way. What should I do?
I’m Meg, a female member.
You probably haven’t experienced much failure or frustration in life.
Some people can decide to work hard and actually do it, while others just aren’t like that.
It’s not that they’re bad because they’re complacent. It’s enough to think, “I guess some people are just like that,” and leave it at that.
Oh, right! Raising children might change your perspective a little, too.
There are so many things that don’t go the way you want.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, and I’ll answer as well.
Thank you for your question.
I feel that looking down on someone or respecting them are two extremes.
It seems perfectly fine to simply treat them normally—neither looking down on them nor putting them on a pedestal.
If you currently feel that what you’re doing isn’t right, as long as you hold on to that feeling and make sure not to look down on them, I think things will eventually be okay.
Perhaps you’re just going through a transitional period right now.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Aren’t friends people you associate with as equals? I always thought you respected and looked up to your seniors, while friendships were based on seeing each other on more or less equal footing.
If you’ve stopped seeing anyone except people you can respect, then when you get right down to it, you’re living in dependence on your seniors. That’s not much different from relying on men to support your lifestyle.
I think the way to break free is to move beyond materialism. You have to gain all kinds of experiences, including failures, and realize that happiness and money don’t necessarily go hand in hand. You might learn that over the next ten or twenty years—or you might never learn it in your lifetime. That’s life, too.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
People live within different social and financial circles shaped by their income and outlook, and when you move from one circle to another, you get to see a different world.
But you won’t know what that world is like unless you actually go there, so I think it can be good to keep moving forward.
Why not try stepping up from ¥50 million to ¥100 million?
That was the world I’d been living in until now—but this is the world I’m in today...
I don’t think “looking down on others” is the right way to put it.
Wouldn’t it be better to simply say that everyone has their own world?（笑）
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I’m in Seattle.
There’s no time to waste looking down on others for fun. Life is short, so save more and aim for 100 million yen. If possible, aim to earn your lifetime income.
When you’re feeling a little worn out, enjoy your hobbies. People only waste time looking down on others on Twitter because they’re bored.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I think it’s fair to look down on her for that（笑).
You were inspired by the people you met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), made efforts like changing jobs and investing, and ultimately built up assets as a result, right? If there were a girl doing the same papa-katsu, with about the same luck in landing a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter), but who made no such effort and simply spent the money carelessly without building any assets, then she would unquestionably be beneath you. Rather than deliberately looking down on her, she’s simply in a position you can’t see unless you look downward, so it happens naturally.
That said, looking down on someone isn’t a good feeling. So you don’t need to respect her, but try to keep a mental category for “a hopeless but lovable person.” The more flawed someone is, the more you should make a habit of looking for their good qualities and learning to love them as a person. Once you can love someone as a person, you’ll want to help them out of their difficult situation. Simply giving them money won’t work because they’ll spend it all, and trying to whip them into shape through harsh criticism may break their spirit. In that situation, you should think seriously about how to help this lovable person. If you look at it that way, you’ll understand why wealthy people devote themselves to philanthropy—and someone like you may become even more motivated.
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
You’re still very young, so I think you’re fine just as you are.
In another 20 years, it will be enough if the girls who feel that way now come to see the value in their own lives.
For now, it’s enough to praise yourself and enjoy that sense of fulfillment. As a result, you may compare yourself with others, feel the differences, bask in a sense of superiority, or look down on people. That may have been your source of energy, and it may still be something you need going forward. Trying to forcefully control it probably won’t work.
If I had to point out one thing I’d like you to realize now, it’s that there’s always someone above you. From the perspective of Bill Gates or Masayoshi Son, we’re all poor.
If you consider yourself poor, your hunger and motivation will keep welling up. You can move forward with the drive to improve instead of wasting your time looking down on others.
Also, some people are happy even without money, so in exchange for the money you’ve gained, you’ve become a little poor at heart.
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