“Your body count is ○, right? People who sleep with some random guy early on because they’re eager to lose their virginity become sluts, you know.” I was told this.
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Do men really think that only sluts do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)…?
He said it with a smile, so I couldn’t tell whether he was insulting me or trying to comfort me. But the moment he called me a slut, does that mean it’s certain he won’t treat me well from now on?
I’d love some ideas on how to cleverly win the argument, keep meeting him, get as much money as possible, and then cut him off.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well.
Thanks for your question.
Without knowing what was said before and after, I can’t tell why the conversation turned to the subject of “bitches,” or whether he was simply calling you one because you’ve had many partners—or whether he actually likes you.
> I’d be happy if you could give me some ideas on how to successfully win the argument, keep meeting him, take as much money as possible, and then cut him off.
If you want to get money from him, you shouldn’t try to win the argument.
I think you need to make him fall for you. I’m not sure exactly how to do that, though.
First, try to figure out what kind of woman he likes based on what he says, and then act like that kind of woman.
Then, when he’s thinking, “There’s no other woman as wonderful as her—I want to be with her forever,”
you could break things off with him at that point, I suppose.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
That’s definitely an irritating thing to say, isn’t it?
But you don’t really need to argue with him about it.
How about something like:
“Hmm? You think so? I want to be even more of a bitch just for you (♥)”
Or something along those lines! lol
If he continues seeing you after that, lucky you. Though I suppose it depends on whether it helps you feel better.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I’d like to hear what was said before that. If you’re 20 and said that you had your first experience at 12 and have been with 20 people by now, then I can understand where that male member was coming from. Also, in that case, his words were directed at you personally, not at papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) women in general.
As for what he meant, I think it was either, “I’ll save you because you’re a bitch,” or, “Since you’re a bitch, I’ll treat you accordingly.” I can’t tell which from your question.
Either way, I’d feel like arguing back, but it depends on your situation. If it’s like the situation I described at the beginning, you might as well own it. If not, you’d probably want to focus on explaining that he misunderstood you.
That said, I think the best solution is simply not to see people you don’t get along with anymore.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think he may simply be the type of person who says exactly what comes to mind. He probably didn’t intend to insult you; he may just lack the imagination to consider how his words will come across to the other person.
So being called a “bitch” doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t treat you well going forward. That said, judging from what he said, he may be the type of man who isn’t capable of treating others well. Also, what it means to be treated well—and what makes someone feel valued—differs from person to person.
I think it’s difficult to both prove your point and get money out of him. It would probably be best to give up on one or the other.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Once I’m called a “bitch,” does that mean it’s certain he won’t value me going forward?
In this case, I don’t think you need to jump to conclusions so quickly. As you continue meeting a few more times, you may get a better sense of what he’s really like. I think it would be fine to make your decision at that point.
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