I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this too.
Thanks for your question.
> Would she be put off if I suddenly brought a cosplay outfit with me?
If you suddenly showed up with one without saying anything, she’d probably be surprised. There’s also a chance she might not like it.
If the situation were reversed—say, a woman suddenly told you to dress up as a baby and brought out an outfit—wouldn’t you be surprised too?
You might think, “I’m not interested in dressing up as a baby,” or you might go along with her and change—I don’t know. But I think you should at least consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
As for what to do, I’d suggest starting with something like:
“Have you ever tried cosplay?” (I mean ordinary cosplay here.)
Then you could mention that you’re interested in cosplay intimacy. If she seems willing to go along with it, you could rent a costume at a love hotel—or choose a hotel that offers rental costumes from the start.
> I want her to understand how fun it can be, since she doesn’t seem to have much of a sex drive and isn’t very proactive.
Have you never had work experience? In any situation, the first step is to make the other person like you. I think you should consider what you can do to make her like you.
Once she likes you, she’ll probably become more proactive over time.
Of course, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. (That’s advice from Answerer M.) You’ll need to put in many times—perhaps dozens of times—the effort of men your own age.
It’s something like *Mission: Impossible*. But there are also women who will be interested in and attracted to your wealth of experience and the stories based on it—things men your age don’t have.
> She said she’d lose interest and end things if she felt she was being treated like a masturbatory toy or merely as an outlet for someone’s sex drive.
If she’s already told you that, it’s probably safest not to do anything. I think it would be better to increase the number of dates you have outside of hotels, if possible.
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
It sounds like you’re dissatisfied with the relationship between the two of you.
I think things will improve if you first picture the kind of sex your partner would enjoy.
Actually, your priority should be practicing so that you can provide sex your partner will enjoy from the very first day.
If your sex drive isn’t particularly strong, the first day is especially important. As your question suggests, if everything is centered around your own needs, neither the woman nor, ultimately, you will be able to enjoy it much.
For women, the impression made in the first few dozen seconds to two or three minutes—how you start—is important.
Common complaints from women at these clubs include:
- The date didn’t make her want to have sex
- He didn’t pay attention to her reactions
- He didn’t make her climax, so she wasn’t satisfied
- The man took a long time to climax
- It dragged on forever
So if you simply do the opposite of all these things, you’ll be very well received. She’ll probably tell you, “You’re so much better than the other men.”
If she isn’t being very proactive right now, there must be some reason. I can’t say whether the cause lies with one or both of you, but since she has no intention of changing, you’ll have to improve whatever may be causing the problem yourself. It would probably be best to avoid blaming her behavior on the fact that she’s passive. That could make her close herself off even further, thinking, “Is this just about his own desires?”
Going forward, you could try the following:
- Don’t initiate sex yourself
- Don’t have her pleasure you
- Pay close attention to her reactions
- Show gratitude when she pleases you, and enjoy and become excited by it
- Make her climax in a short time
- Become aroused yourself and climax together in a short time
Even men can climax from masturbation in two or three minutes—possibly even one or two.
Women don’t need that much time to climax either.
And just as men feel happy when a woman enjoys herself and climaxes, women are also happy when a man enjoys himself and climaxes. Expressing that pleasure is an important distinction between this and treating her like a sex toy.
First, make the effort yourself to help her become more proactive. A woman who continues seeing someone through the club wouldn’t remain passive without a reason.
