I recently changed from Type C to Type B. I’d been turning people down more often than I expected—not because of the allowance being high or low—and thought Type B might suit me better.
I’m finding it hard to face someone and turn them down, and I was also getting frustrated with people who wouldn’t take no gracefully.
The staff asked me to explain the reason for the change in my profile, so I wrote something fairly neutral.
However, since changing types, two people who contacted me in succession invited me to go further after dinner. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with asking. But when I turned both of them down, they kept saying things like, “You were Type C originally, weren’t you? What’s the big deal? I came here expecting that.”
I wanted to tell them that this made changing my type completely meaningless, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I just kept saying no and eventually managed to get away.
I assume the site displays our change history so men can see how women view these relationships, and that hiding it isn’t possible.
In that case, to avoid situations like this, should I write something subtle in my profile? I feel like anything I wrote might come across as confrontational.
Does anyone have any good wording suggestions?
Maezawa from the president’s office here, answering your question as well.
Thank you for your question.
I believe the explanation for Dating Type B is supposed to be: you have dinner and part ways on the first day, and consider an adult relationship (intimate) from the second meeting onward. It seems some people simply don’t understand that.
Incidentally, the men’s member page also says:
B [From the second meeting onward]
If you hit it off on a date from the second meeting onward, the relationship may develop further.
So normally, it should be easy to understand. It’s unfortunate that some men still don’t get it.
Therefore, even if you’re Type B, if a man pressures you into something and makes you uncomfortable, please send us feedback after the date, explaining exactly how pushy he was. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for us to confirm the details with him as well.
(That said, I hope you can give some leeway if he only makes a light—really light—invitation that doesn’t genuinely make you uncomfortable.)
> Is there any good way to phrase this?
I think you could simply write the reason exactly as you’ve explained it here.
“I didn’t like having to turn down people when I felt things would be difficult, because it created an awkward atmosphere. I’ve also started to feel put off when they don’t back off gracefully.
So I changed my dating type to B, where we have dinner and part ways on the first day, and I can decide from the second meeting onward.
I look forward to hearing from people who will give me time to think things over properly and enjoy spending time together with me.”
Something along those lines should work.
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I’m HikokI from the men’s membership.
If you make that change, you could have the staff note in your profile that the first meeting will be dinner only, or have them inform men when they send an offer that the first day will definitely be dinner only.
That way, you can meet only men who agree to those terms, and I think your first and second meetings will more often progress in the way you envision.
Men who are comfortable with that arrangement are likely to be more relaxed, making it easier for things to naturally progress to a second meeting.
Also, letter dates are very popular among women like you—those who selected Type B or C but don’t seem to be suited to Type C. With a letter date, it’s easier to spot a man’s true intentions from his messages, so you can quickly rule out men who are only thinking about ulterior motives without ever meeting them.
From now on, it might be perfectly fine to say that you’ll only accept letter dates.
P.S. Is the option to indicate “Letter Date: OK/NG” and “Voice Date: OK/NG” in your profile available only in certain areas?
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Akai from Universe Club’s Customer Success team here.
Thank you for reaching out.
Choosing the right dating type can be difficult, and many women end up changing their type later on.
If you originally select Type C, some men may misunderstand what you mean by an adult relationship (intimate) and approach you accordingly, even after you change your type. For that reason, adding a note to your profile as a way to set expectations may be a good strategy.
For example, wording such as, “I’m looking for a long-term relationship, so I’d like to discuss and decide together with my partner how to approach an adult relationship (intimate),” could be effective. It clearly conveys that you’re seeking something long-term and would like to take things slowly when it comes to an adult relationship (intimate).
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