I’m a newly registered woman in my 40s, Type B. I recently received my second offer, and the club told me the meeting place would be a restaurant at a certain hotel. When I checked its hours, it was only open until 8 p.m. due to COVID. Since there was only an hour from the meeting time, I asked the club to contact him, but there was no response, so I went there as planned. The hotel kindly extended the closing time by about 30 minutes, but the gentleman said he was staying there and suggested having the second round in his room. I was hesitant to go into his room, but the club had told me to leave four hours open for the date, so I went up thinking of it as a second venue. As expected, he suggested an adult relationship (intimate), but the amount he offered was at the lowest level. However, since I was already in the room and didn’t want to upset him, I agreed. In a situation like this, should I have confirmed the amount before entering the room? Looking back, I feel like I was swept along at his pace… I also thought it would be rude to leave after only an hour and a half. If anyone has any good advice, I’d really appreciate it!

I’m Maezawa from the president’s office, and I’ll answer this as well. Thank you for your question. Universe used to tell women to plan for roughly two hours of dinner plus two hours of an adult relationship (intimate). But at some point, this was changed to “Please keep four hours open.” However, women who read the Q&A box carefully should know that “Please keep four hours open” is really just shorthand for two hours of dinner plus two hours of an adult relationship (intimate). I’ve written this many times myself. In other words, women with Dating Type B only have dinner scheduled for their first date, so two hours is perfectly fine for the first meeting. That said, there’s one thing I want you to be careful about. If he invites you somewhere after dinner, don’t simply turn him down by saying, “I have plans afterward, so I’m going home.” Men will complain, saying, “Even if she’s Type B, there’s still a possibility of something happening afterward, so making plans was unfair.” Technically, Type B means dinner only for the first meeting, so you shouldn’t have to put up with that complaint. Still, many men get upset if you already have plans, so when turning him down, I’d like you to say something along the lines of: “I chose Type B because I want to think things through carefully before reaching a decision. If I could decide today, I would have chosen Type C. Please let me meet you a few times so I can come to a decision.” If you handle it this way, there’s absolutely no problem with ending things after two hours of dinner only. Even in a situation like this one, once dinner is over, the dinner portion is finished—even if two hours haven’t passed yet. You can simply say goodbye and leave; there’s nothing wrong with that. Also, if he invites you to a room as a “second stop,” there are men who try to be sneaky like that, so clearly say, “I’ve already told you that I won’t go to a room.” If there’s nowhere else he’s planning to take you, that’s simply poor planning on his part. Be careful not to let a sneaky man trick you. And if the allowance is at the absolute minimum, you can even say, “I can’t do this for that allowance, even if we’re in the room. Goodbye,” and leave.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. What a sneaky guy. No courage, no money—and no manners either. Ugh, just awful. Courage and manners are skills anyone can develop if they make the effort. When someone has bad manners, you’re allowed to give them the same treatment. With unpleasant people, trying to be liked first and then disliked just makes things unnecessarily complicated, so it’s better to make sure they dislike you from the start.

I’m Taro, a male member. You were definitely taken advantage of. There are always going to be a certain number of unscrupulous men, so you need to be careful. You probably already realized this yourself, but if you have no intention of being intimate, you shouldn’t go to his room. The club’s rules, whether an hour and a half is too short, or whether you thought of it as going somewhere else afterward—all of that is beside the point. A man’s desire will find any opening and seep in. Unless you properly lock the door yourself, you’ll end up being used however he pleases. If you truly value your own well-being, you should firmly refuse anything you don’t want, even if the club gets angry with you later. Discuss the terms before entering the room. What would you do if you refused and the man threatened or intimidated you? Restaurants and hotel hallways have people around and security cameras, but rooms don’t. Once a man has managed to get you into the room, he may feel that he has “cut off all your escape routes.” If you refuse at that point, he might even fly into a rage and say, “Then why did you come all the way here?” You should understand that entering the room not only puts you at a disadvantage—it can also trigger the man to escalate his behavior.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Yes, I think you should confirm the details before entering the room. It feels like they’re taking advantage of your reluctance to speak up, which isn’t a very commendable approach. Although they asked you to keep four hours open, the dinner date was expected to last two hours. The fact that you couldn’t set aside two hours was the man’s fault, so you don’t need to worry about being rude or anything like that. Even if you left after an hour and a half and the man complained to the club, you had already told him in advance by message that you only had one hour. In that case, the only thing that would happen is that the man’s standing with the club would suffer. Ultimately, I think the best approach is to be firm and say that something isn’t acceptable when it isn’t. There are few situations that should simply be brushed aside.