I’m struggling. I have Papa A, who’s in his 50s, rents an apartment for me, and gives me living expenses each month. I also know a local senior, in his 40s, whom I met outside papa-katsu and with whom I have mutual acquaintances. After everything that’s happened, I’ve started wanting to have his child.
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That senior is like ZOZO founder Yusaku Maezawa. He wants me to have his child, and I also want to have his child and live as a single mother.
But if I become a single mother, I won’t be able to see my other beloved papas ever again, right? I genuinely want a child, so I’m feeling conflicted.
Papa A, who’s in his 50s, has a wife, so apparently he won’t acknowledge the child legally. I’m not considering having a child with him at all.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Apparently, the papa in his 50s has a wife, so he won’t acknowledge the child.
I can’t agree with this. You should give up.
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If you can’t manage without the support of a papa in his 50s, that plan is completely reckless. You’re already relying on him to cover your own living expenses, and you’re talking about raising another person.
You’ll need to be in a position where you could manage as a single mother even if both your mentor and your papa cut ties with you. Otherwise, it won’t just be difficult—you may end up having to rely on public assistance.
That said, single mothers are everywhere these days, and you’ll get priority for daycare and free medical care, so I do think you’ll somehow manage.
But please think it through carefully. If reality turns out differently from your expectations, it won’t just be you affected—your child will be caught up in it too.
Marika
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I’ll answer as Maezawa from the CEO’s office.
Thank you for your question.
You could tell the man in his 50s that you want children but don’t want to get married, and that you’d like to become a single mother for that reason.
Then you could mention something along the lines of, “I found a sperm bank, so I’m thinking of going there soon,” and perhaps see if he might be willing to have a child with you.
That said, I’m not quite sure what you mean by saying that your older partner in his 40s “wants me to have his child.” Do you mean he wants you to give birth without getting married?
I don’t think a man in his 50s will remain your papa (a male supporter) forever, so I’m concerned about how you plan to support yourself in the future.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I agree with Seattle-san. I think it’s better to have an open, direct conversation—but it should be handled tactfully.
Something along these lines:
“As a woman, I do want to have a child, but I also want my child to have a legally acknowledged father. Since a man in his 50s wouldn’t be able to acknowledge the child, having a child with him isn’t an option. There happens to be a man I know locally whom I’ve been close with for some time, and I want to have his child as a way of fulfilling my own life. I’m sorry for being so selfish, but I hope you can support someone like me.”
Writing it out like that made me realize there are quite a few potential deal-breakers. It would require very careful planning.
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