What’s going through the minds of men who ask, “I’m married—is that okay?” or “I’m an older guy—is that okay?” What are they worried about?
This content is machine-translated.
Anyone who signs up for a dating club obviously already understands that there will be married men and that most of the members will be older guys.
Do they think I might fall for them—in the romantic sense?
Are they worried I’ll expect them to marry me or something?
If so, it makes me want to say, “Try looking in a mirror.”
Or is it less about that, and more that they’re saying, “Because I’m married, I might drag you into trouble involving an affair,” or, “I’m the type who likes to be affectionate in public—would other people’s stares bother you?”
The first sounds annoying, and the second sounds like a hassle too, so either way, the moment someone says this, I find myself thinking they’re a no-go.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
Thank you for your question.
> What are they worried about?
They’re worried about exactly what they say they’re worried about.
Even if they were able to go to a hotel on the first meeting and had plans to meet again, some men have had the experience of things ending with messages like:
“I’m sorry, but since you turned out to be older, I can’t continue seeing you,”
or
“I can’t see someone who has a wife.”
So they worry that the same thing might happen again and end up asking about it.
Being rejected is equally upsetting no matter when it happens, but I think it hurts more when you thought you’d meet again and had already made plans, only to be told, “Actually, I don’t think I can.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
> The former sounds annoying, and the latter seems like too much trouble, so either way, once someone says that, I feel like it’s a no-go.
Exactly. I’m trying to judge from their reaction whether I’m a no-go or not.
If you’re not into older men, you don’t have to force yourself.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
You often come across women who won’t date married men, right? You see them quite often on matching apps, but only very occasionally at a club.
If you already feel that it’s a no-go as soon as you’re asked this question, I think there’s no point in dwelling on something when you already know the answer.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Taro, a male member.
I don’t think an escort club is the same as the sex industry. The sex industry is about providing sexual services in exchange for money. An escort club may ultimately aim for an adult relationship (intimate), but there’s also some emotional involvement. The fact that women can refuse, and that things can start with a meal they aren’t obligated to take any further, captures that nuance.
That said, even before feelings come into play, the gap between the two sides is pretty huge. It’s like a meeting between an excited young woman listening to “Usseewa” and an older guy listening to Kuwata or Tamaki. You probably need to be open to accepting a different culture, and even then, you’re bound to have a mountain of questions like, “How am I supposed to think about this?”
I think the women who succeed are either those who manage to bridge that gap well enough to connect emotionally, or those who handle things skillfully from a business perspective.
As for your question: that’s just an older man’s way of showing consideration. He probably doesn’t want to get married, but he may well want to flirt and be affectionate. After all, that’s how an older man expresses emotional connection.
I suppose the question is whether you want to accept that or just brush it off. Of course, there are practical techniques involved beyond that.
If you joined an escort club solely because you basically want to choose someone as if it were the sex industry, then I think you should feel free to cut those kinds of men loose without hesitation.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m an adult, so no one asks me that (sad).
Most of those older guys ask young women that kind of thing anyway, so if you’re getting enough offers and are popular enough to cut them all off without a second thought, I think it’s fine to say no.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
