I’m Tetsu, a male member.
You probably should have contacted the branch, even if it was a long shot, when you accidentally deleted the LINE chat. I once accidentally deleted the contact information of a woman I had offered to meet, and when I contacted the branch, they passed the message along to her. I’m sure they’d handle it the same way for women as well.
I imagine quite a few men keep checking on women they’ve offered to meet in the past. I often hear about men who get annoyed when they see that a woman is updating her profile even though she’s dating them.
Personally, if a woman I’ve offered to meet registers again, I just think, “Oh, she’s still active at the club.” There’s such a thing as compatibility, and it’s not as though things will continue with every woman. Once things end, I just think, “Time to move on to the next one.”
Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
Thank you for your question.
> Since I had already left the club, there was nothing I could do.
Even if you had already withdrawn, if the man was still a member, I think the club could at least have passed along a message such as, “This woman contacted us,” and given him your contact information.
(That would only be relaying a message, so there’s no guarantee that the man would contact you afterward.)
If they told you they couldn’t do anything because the woman had already withdrawn, you probably could have registered again briefly, had them pass along your message, and then withdrawn again afterward.
> If a woman I had been in fairly regular contact with, but who never even said goodbye, registered again, would I still feel annoyed?
I think it depends on how much time had passed.
If it had only been a few months, I might wonder, “Did she dislike me?” But if more than a year had passed, I’d probably just think, “Maybe she’s decided to start again.”
When re-registering, you could also tell the staff something like:
“I was previously seeing Mr. ○○, but my phone broke and I lost touch with him. If he’s still a member, could you please pass along my contact information?”
They wouldn’t be able to tell you whether the man is still a member, so it would probably be something like: “If he’s still a member, we’ll pass it along. If not, we won’t contact him.”
Knowing that the man was contacted should hopefully ease your worries.
Of course, if you don’t actually want to see him again, there’s no need to go out of your way to contact him. And even if he later contacts you after noticing that you’ve rejoined, “My phone broke and I couldn’t get in touch” should be a perfectly believable explanation.
> After LINE disappeared, the man never contacted me through social media, so I assume our relationship wasn’t that close anyway.
Because of how LINE works, even if you delete the conversation or remove the person, it doesn’t disappear from the other person’s side. From the man’s perspective, he could still send you messages.
He may have thought, “Why did she suddenly stop replying? Did she lose interest?”
A gentleman won’t pursue things any further. Even if he really wants to get in touch somehow, he’ll hold himself back. If she actually didn’t want to hear from him, continuing to contact her would be no different from stalking.
In fact, I’d find a man who contacted her even by SMS more frightening. Wouldn’t it be scary if he looked up where she lived and showed up at her home? That’s practically stalking.
So I think it would be wrong to conclude that he wasn’t very interested simply because he didn’t contact you outside of LINE.
P.S.
> I doubt the club checks each man’s dating history every time.
They actually do. (Laughs)
Sometimes the same man submits an offer to the same woman again, unexpectedly, so we let him know. It doesn’t happen often.
That’s because men naturally complain. They’ll say things like:
“I made the offer myself, but when we met, she was someone I’d already seen before. Give me back the setting fee.”
That said, the system was replaced a year ago, so if the date took place before then, it may not be possible to check. Also, if her membership number changed when she registered again, it may not be possible to identify her.
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
I’ve had arrangements continue with women whose LINE accounts were deleted and who later sent me their new LINE IDs by text message. In those cases, I didn’t contact them first.
So even if you haven’t heard from her in your situation, I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem.
In fact, it might be better that she hasn’t contacted you.
If she’s someone you continued seeing for that long, even after leaving the site, she’s probably waiting to hear from you. Even if you happen to come across her after she re-registers, I don’t think you need to give up. I’m sure she’ll understand everything once you meet.
I’m Taro, a male member.
If a woman suddenly stops responding, I assume, “She’s found another guy.” Then, if I see that she’s registered again, I think, “Oh, she’s looking again—but I guess she’s not interested in me.” I don’t get irritated or try to investigate, and I wouldn’t make another offer either. It’s not that I’m being cold—I simply respect the woman’s choice first and foremost.
If she stops responding on LINE, I take that as her way of saying she doesn’t want to continue, so I won’t try contacting her through other channels. Some people suddenly disappear even when everything seemed normal, after all. So I don’t think a man’s lack of contact on social media necessarily means his feelings have faded.
If it’s bothering you, why not ask the club for her contact information and get in touch? I don’t think you’ll be rejected.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
The man may not have saved your phone number either. If it’s bothering you, after you re-register, why not ask the club, “My LINE account has changed, and I’d like to contact ○○, who previously made me an offer, if he’s still registered”? If you take the initiative, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
