"I'll book a three-star French restaurant for next time." → "Sorry, I forgot. Is a nearby French restaurant okay?"
"I'll give you a Christmas present~" → He doesn't give me one.
"Let's go stay in a hotel suite~" → We don't go.
There are lots of other little things too, but he keeps getting my hopes up.
If he can't do something, he shouldn't say he'll do it in the first place.
I'm exhausted from dealing with him.
Why does he keep getting my hopes up? Is he senile because he's a 60-year-old man?
What's going on in his mind? Does he dislike me?
I’m Karasaki from the Tokyo office of Universe Club, and I’d like to answer as well.
Why not remind him during your conversations before meeting by saying things like, “I’m looking forward to the gift and the restaurant”?
We can’t say for sure whether he genuinely forgot or is just being stingy, and claiming at the last minute that he forgot you were looking forward to it probably won’t work either. So, why not start by taking action?
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Maybe she’s simply the type of person who says whatever sounds good in the moment. Some people are like that. At the time, they genuinely want to do what they’re saying. It’s not that they dislike you or are trying to be mean—they probably just get carried away by their emotions and say things impulsively. Pointing it out won’t make them change, so I think we just have to get better at letting it roll off our backs.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who sometimes takes my dates to Yoshinoya or McDonald’s.
Men and women are both at fault here.
If someone would be dissatisfied unless you took them somewhere like the places mentioned in the question, you simply shouldn’t date them. And naturally, you wouldn’t be too eager to take out a woman who feels that way, either.
Of course, it depends on the situation, but I’d prefer a woman who can enjoy herself even at Yoshinoya, Mister Donut, or McDonald’s.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer this one as well.
Thank you for your question.
I think he may be both forgetful and the type of person who doesn’t feel obligated to keep his word. He sounds like the kind of person who was probably called a clown or a show-off when he was younger.
As for how to deal with it, how about being more assertive, like this?
“I’ll book a three-star French restaurant for next time.”
→ “Sorry, I forgot. Is a French restaurant nearby okay?”
→ “No. Please book the next restaurant right now, in front of me.”
“I’ll get you a Christmas present.”
→ He doesn’t get you one.
→ “Christmas has already passed, but would you go shopping with me now and buy me the present?”
“Let’s go stay at a hotel suite.”
→ He doesn’t take you.
→ “Come to think of it, you said we were going to stay at a suite, right? Please meet me at that hotel next time.”
You might even want to push him a little like that.
There’s a chance the relationship may end, but it might feel better to break things off than to continue while feeling frustrated and unsettled.
If you still feel the benefits of staying together outweigh the drawbacks, then remember that he probably won’t follow through anyway. No matter what he says, don’t get your hopes up. Just listen while thinking, “He’s all talk…”
Whenever he starts making promises, think, “Here he goes making things up again,” and focus your thoughts on another friend or something else.
Above all, it’s important not to let this relationship wear you down.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think she’s either forgetful or says things like that in the moment just to keep you happy. I don’t think she dislikes you.
You’ll never really know for sure no matter how much you think about it, so why not give her a cute little reminder to help jog her memory?
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I’m Date◎Yume, one of the male members.
I’m getting on in years myself, so I understand perfectly. I think they mean it at the time—they’ve simply forgotten about it.
Next time something like that comes up, it might be a good idea to check in beforehand by asking, “What happened with that?” If they’ve merely forgotten, they’ll probably make the reservation right away. But if they only meant to get your hopes up, they’ll likely give you a vague answer.
It can be fun to gauge how serious he is by his reaction, too（笑）
This isn’t business, so let’s keep things lighthearted and enjoy the process…
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