I’d appreciate some advice.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. Thank you for your question. You say you don’t want to have sex so badly that you insist on ejaculation, but then you’re being snide every time you hand over the allowance... That sounds like you’re clearly fixated on it. (Laughs) Someone who wasn’t fixated on it would probably just say, “It’s fine now that I’ve lost my erection,” and end things there. I do think you should point out the contradiction, but this person seems like the type who would just keep making more contradictory statements once confronted, so I feel like it would be a waste of time. Some people simply don’t notice their own contradictions. > How can I stop him from making these constant snide remarks? One option might be to deliberately try to have a serious discussion about it. Something along the lines of: “Even though you say you’re not fixated on ejaculation, it’s really difficult for me when you make various comments while giving me my allowance. Could you give it to me as soon as we enter the room? If you did, I think those comments would probably stop.” If you can arrange to receive the allowance at the beginning, I think you’ll be able to tune out anything he says afterward, so that seems like a good solution. If he refuses, I think it would be better for your mental well-being to end things. Of course, if you feel it’s worth putting up with for the allowance, then you can choose to endure it. But rather than letting it become too emotionally draining, I think you’d be better off looking for someone else.

I’m Kazu, a male member. If he’s being persistently reluctant and difficult about it, then that man is clearly fixated on ejaculating (lol). I don’t think this is an issue of physical compatibility—it depends on how you feel. The real problem is that he’s shifting his own issue onto you. I’m not sure reducing the allowance would accomplish anything. From a man’s perspective, I can’t imagine an arrangement where an allowance of 50,000 yen feels unsatisfactory, but 40,000 yen somehow feels acceptable. Also, saying that women who have given birth are “loose” is disrespectful to them. Of the women I’ve slept with, one of the three with the best vaginal fit was a woman who had given birth.

I ended things with a man who was similar. I suddenly felt disillusioned, thinking, “What am I even doing?” If you can put up with it because you’re receiving an allowance, then I suppose it’s fine to continue. But it became stressful for me, so I ended the relationship. Still, you can’t exactly tell him the real reason, can you? I think it’s better to say something like you’re busy with work or that you’ve quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Some people are oddly adamant about not taking medication, but they should realize that this pointless stubbornness can sometimes lead to the entire arrangement ending. Marika

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. In this case, it seems the issue may lie with the man. “Sex isn’t just about ejaculation.” That’s certainly true, but after reading the question, I found myself wondering whether it might be reasonable to ask for a higher allowance in this situation. Don’t push yourself too hard—ideally, it should be an enjoyable arrangement that benefits both of you（笑）

I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane. The woman’s biggest concern is whether the man can get satisfied to the extent of his allowance and finish quickly and smoothly. If men understood that a little better, they might take medication or something… (Though taking medication doesn’t guarantee they’ll be able to finish.) Losing his erection and making the woman service him—even though it’s not really affectionate touching—is completely unacceptable. It’s bad enough to send him to jail. The problem is that what the man is saying may also be true, which makes things difficult. Is he like that with every woman, or does it depend on compatibility? Either way, if it happened all four times, it doesn’t seem like their compatibility is going to improve. If she has another papa (a male supporter) with no other issues, there’s no need for her to continue this arrangement. It’s out of the question for someone to be reluctant about something involving his own sexuality. He should at least be saying, “Sorry I lost my erection” or “Sorry I couldn’t finish.” If the battle is already lost, he should withdraw quickly rather than make her service him (unless it’s natural, affectionate touching that fits the mood), and switch gears so they can enjoy a wonderful time together. Normally, a man would apologize for not being able to show his pleasure through finishing or compatibility, then gently reassure her with words that make her feel he finds her attractive and is satisfied. Instead, he goes on and on about it… He’s a nuisance even to men, because he makes women lose trust in them. If the woman isn’t enjoying herself, the man will feel even more pressure, creating a vicious cycle and widening the gap in their compatibility. It’s unlikely that she’ll develop deeper feelings and want to cooperate with him either…