About negotiating a lower allowance.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, answering your question. Thank you for reaching out. > I’m wondering if he won’t see me anymore unless I agree to lower the allowance. I think that’s a possibility. So the question is whether you want to keep seeing him badly enough to accept 60,000 yen, or whether you’d rather keep your desired amount at 80,000 yen, even if that might mean ending things. If you’re thinking, “I’m just not feeling it,” then I think you should stick to 80,000 yen and not lower your terms. If he can’t accept that, it may be better to let him go. Even if you continue seeing someone you’re not enthusiastic about, the same thing is likely to happen again. He may even ask to lower it to 40,000 yen next time. If you feel even slightly uncomfortable about it, I think you should take it as a sign that you’re simply not compatible. With someone who’s a good match, you probably wouldn’t feel this way in the first place. That said, I assume you haven’t found another man yet. (If you had, you probably wouldn’t need to ask—you’d simply block this man and move on.) As a second option, you could agree to meet him for 60,000 yen for now, then block him and end things as soon as you find someone else. That would be fine too. I think he’ll probably bring up lowering it to 40,000 yen before long, so you should start looking for your next man sooner rather than later. A third option would be to set a condition, such as: “I’m short on money, so I need you to meet me at least three times a month. If you can agree to that, I’m okay with 60,000 yen.” Whatever you decide, I think you should avoid meeting him unless the terms are ones you can genuinely accept, so you don’t end up feeling reluctant.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. I’ve said something similar before, so I can relate a little. In my case, I base things on how much disposable money I have. I’ll say something like, “I don’t have much extra this month, so if we’re meeting, it would have to be ¥○○. If you want the usual amount, could we wait until after payday? m(_ _)m” I say things like that fairly often. I don’t have an endless supply of fun money, after all, haha. The difference is that I’m not trying to lower my basic pay-per-meeting allowance, but it’s pretty similar. I’ve experienced having my allowance reduced, but if he’s genuinely serious about pursuing this arrangement, it’s too soon for a second negotiation. In other words, it may be best to assume that you have no guarantees from this man. Why not wait and see a little longer while keeping his hopes up, saying something like, “Would it be okay once we get a little closer?” and put it off for now?

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I’m in favor of negotiating a lower allowance. If the other person isn’t willing to consider it, I have no choice but to end the relationship. I’ve written about this in a column, so please refer to it if you’re interested. That said, if the proposed terms are unacceptable to you, I think it’s best to decline. That’s one of the advantages of a dating club.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I said 80,000 yen upfront because I found her attractive, but once we actually did it, I didn’t find her quite that appealing after all… The fact that I negotiated a lower amount means there must have been a pretty big gap. And normally, you’d only say something like that after being prepared for the arrangement to end, right? So, “I’m only doing this reluctantly, so the allowance needs to be higher” versus “I won’t enjoy sex like that, so I’m negotiating the price down”… One side is unwilling to compromise, the other can’t do it unless the price is high. It’s a high-stakes clash between endurance and unreasonable demands.

I’m Taro, a male member. That’s a pretty straightforward negotiation: she’s saying that if she lowers the per-meeting rate, the total monthly amount will increase. The fact that she’s being slightly noncommittal about it is pretty sneaky, too（笑). She probably tried hard during the initial negotiation, but after thinking it over calmly, decided she’d rather match her usual rate. I’d guess that with other girls, it’s probably ¥60,000 and no more than twice a month. It feels like there’s quite a gap between what both sides want. The man probably already has an established pattern, so changing it won’t be easy. If you can compromise at ¥60,000, I think you can keep the arrangement going. If you insist on ¥80,000, I’d say your chances are about fifty-fifty. Actually, after already saying that ¥60,000 was fine, there’ll probably be some backlash, so I’d put the odds at around 30%. Try the first adult relationship and see how compatible you are. If things go well, there may still be a chance. Even then, you should show that you like her—or at least add some appropriate personal touches. Go into it understanding that this is going to be an uphill negotiation. On the other hand, if the chemistry isn’t that great, I basically don’t think a rate increase will be possible. From there, it’s just a matter of how long you want to drag things out while going through the motions—whether to keep her around until another offer comes along or cut things off. Even if you decide to keep her, unless there’s some particularly strong reason to raise her value, accepting ¥60,000 is probably the safest option.