I’m living in a condo owned by my papa. At first, I agreed to move in because I was struggling financially, but I’ve started feeling like I want to leave because I no longer gain anything, learn anything, or get any benefits from him. As mentioned in an earlier answer, things might have been different if the condo had been in my name, but it isn’t. I also can’t put up with the way he’s started treating me so carelessly.
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I regret not continuing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) openly—I might have earned more and had a better time.
He’s nearly 70, and if I stay like this, I’ll probably just end up having to look after him in his old age, so I want to leave as soon as possible.
How do you think I should bring it up and move out? I’m even considering disappearing suddenly, but he has helped me, after all.
If you lived in a condo provided by your papa and then moved out, I’d like to know how you went about it.
I’d appreciate any advice.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
In most cases, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) eventually comes to an end. I think papas understand that too, so leaving shouldn’t become a major issue in itself. They’ll probably even be grateful, thinking, “I see—you really looked after me.”
After you leave, you may find yourself thinking, “I should have done things differently...” So please take everyone’s answers into consideration and do your best not to leave anything behind—not just physical belongings.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well.
Thank you for your question.
Mac’s answer is a good one.
> “I’d like you to leave behind a note saying that it was an enjoyable dream for you too—even if it wasn’t true.”
I really hope you’ll do that.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Considering the man’s age, perhaps his life experience allows him to accept everything…
I hope you’ll talk things through with him—including your decision to leave—and then move out.
If you were able to live there because he initially helped you, then regardless of whose name is on the lease, I think it’s only right to feel deeply grateful to him.
That said, you shouldn’t blame your papa (a male supporter) for everything by bringing up your papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) earnings or the past. That’s not right.
As for treating you carelessly, it’s hard to know exactly what that means, and people can sometimes become that way unintentionally as they age… Please respond calmly and with some understanding.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Mac’s answer says it all.
This may be going a bit beyond the question, but I’d really appreciate a line along the lines of, “It was a wonderful experience for me, too.” You may have some unpleasant feelings, but try to put them aside for now and write from a place filled with good memories and gratitude. Handwritten would be best. It doesn’t matter if your handwriting isn’t great or the wording sounds a little childish. It’s better to write honestly and naturally, without trying to sound fancy.
They may even send you a brief message on LINE or something. You don’t have to reply, but keep it, and take another look years later, once you’ve gained a little more life experience. It may contain one final lesson from that person.
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