Isn’t it amazing when someone who’s incredibly kind normally turns intensely dominant only in bed? It gets me so wet, lol.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too. Thanks for your question. If you want to meet an S-type man, I think it’s best to say so clearly in your profile. However, be careful—there are also people who only pretend to be dominant. Are you looking for someone like Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey? https://youtu.be/JlSWFRxA1mI

Do you mean a man like Takeru Satoh’s character in “Koi Tsuzuki”? Putting aside whether he’s good-looking, there might be men who are that kind of S, but that character only works because Takeru Satoh has the looks to pull it off. I wonder if men like that really exist—I’d love to meet one! If you mean a genuinely extreme S, though, I imagine they’re pretty hard to find. Marika Oh, come to think of it, Takeru Satoh isn’t actually super kind all the time either. This is difficult.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. You can usually get a pretty good sense of it after talking for a while. Even when a woman says she’s M, that can mean she likes being spanked, restrained, or spoken to harshly. You have to try different things and narrow down exactly what she enjoys. I often hear that certain women attract M-type men, but I suspect many of those men simply aren’t very experienced. Sex should be something both people enjoy, but surprisingly, a lot of men only know sex as “put it in and finish.” Men like that tend to eventually get tired of pleasing the woman and start expecting the woman to please them instead. What I described in my answer isn’t really SM at all—it’s more like pretend SM. It’s just a way to help the woman enjoy herself. If you want to experience serious SM, go somewhere with professionals. Once, while driving to a hotel, I told a self-proclaimed M woman sitting in the passenger seat, “Masturbate right there.” She looked embarrassed but started, and after she climaxed, things at the hotel were even more exciting than usual. Even that wasn’t really SM—it was more like a warm-up to get in the mood for sex.（笑）

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I think I could probably manage the super-S type the questioner is looking for if I really tried. I can probably recognize a genuinely extreme M or S, but I’m not confident I can tell where someone falls within the normal range. So I’d need them to give me some hints or tell me what they’re hoping for. Why not give your partner a few hints?

I’m Kazu, a male member who feels uncomfortable with how casually people throw around terms like “S” and “M.” As Mac said, what BDSM means varies from person to person. A truly hardcore submissive woman enjoys being made to do embarrassing, painful, or distressing things—and enjoys herself in that state. She might like serving orally for hours, being taken outside without wearing underwear, or being tied up and left alone. Of course, some women enjoy being hit, pierced with needles, having their anus stretched, or being given permanent scars with a branding iron. Some even enjoy being loaned out to complete strangers and used as a human sex toy. In return, though, they tend to be extremely needy and require constant attention and care in everyday life. I think a true dominant man is someone who can properly satisfy the desires of a hardcore submissive woman. I’m not the attentive, hands-on type, so I’d become mentally exhausted from playing for long periods and constantly catering to her moods. That’s why I gave up on that path. Everyone’s preferences differ in the details and can be quite deep, so trying to sum them up in a single word is overly simplistic. When the questioner says she’s “kind of M,” I assume they probably mean she’s reserved in bed. Generally, that may be because the man is being considerate and trying not to make her uncomfortable. To move beyond that, I think the questioner needs to communicate their own desires to their partner. To determine whether a girl is “kind of M,” I ask what she likes being done to her and judge based on her answer. Of course, almost no woman will openly tell you everything right from the start, so through the course of the relationship, I gradually encourage her to open up those hidden drawers. I’d be happy if women made the same effort to open their partner’s drawers as well. That, to me, is what dating is about.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. In my case, I look at things like the expression in her photos, the shape of her face, and her hobbies and preferences. But they’re not very reliable… Some people also include that kind of information in their club comments or profiles.