She barely eats during our dates, and even when I ask about her likes and dislikes beforehand, she eats slowly and leaves quite a lot of food. Yet she always asks me to buy her snacks or sweets before we part.
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Our physical chemistry is good, so I keep seeing her, but I can’t help wondering why I’m expected to buy her sweets when she always leaves food behind.
I don’t understand women’s psychology. Could someone explain it to me?
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
People who eat slowly often tend to eat less. It’s also said that eating slowly is healthier because you’re less likely to overeat.
Maybe she simply wants something sweet to cleanse her mouth after a salty meal. Whether she’s hungry or full probably isn’t the point.
If she always leaves food, wouldn’t it be considerate to ask, “Is the portion too large?” or “Should I ask them to reduce the amount?”
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here, too.
Thanks for your question.
> I always leave sweets behind, so I can’t help wondering why I have to buy them.
Food and sweets are two separate things. (笑)
Don’t you ever feel like eating something sweet after you get home?
I guess you don’t.
People who like sweets often start craving something sweet a little while after eating. So even without being told, try to be in the mindset of, “Which sweets should I buy on the way home today?”
Speaking of which, what exactly counts as sweets?
Cake, maybe?
Cake is delicious, isn’t it?
Chocolate is always a good choice too.
You know those things that come in a cup and are kind of a cross between fruit and cake?
Those would be good too.
Wait—weren’t you supposed to be buying Maezawa a souvenir? (笑)
Anyway, I think buying about four items as a souvenir would be a good idea. I think one person could easily manage four.
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It’s Seattle.
Women can only eat so much, you know.
Don’t be stingy over the cost of a dessert. I want to save room for some delicious sweets.
If you eat everything, you’ll gain weight. The same goes for men.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
This is starting to sound like disciplining a child（笑）. You’re not responsible for her as a parent, so I don’t see the problem. If you want to continue the relationship, think about how to make it work.
Just order less food when you go out to eat. If it’s a place where you can share dishes, you can simply take the larger portion yourself. But I do hope you’ll buy her a dessert when you part ways.
No woman in the world will be 100% your type, and people don’t change that easily even if you try to control them. On the contrary, if you stay together for a long time, those quirks may become fond memories.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
She probably wants to set aside part of her daily calorie allowance for sweets.
Women are allowed fewer calories than men, and maintaining their figure is tough. But they still want to eat something sweet.
That’s probably what she means.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
What a spoiled little princess…
Isn’t she saying things like, “There’s always room for dessert”?
I’d love to teach her a thing or two.
(Who do I think I am?! LOL)
This is your chance to show what you can do. Say something like, “I’d be even more generous if you told me everything was delicious and finished it all,” and gently train her up.
You’ve got this!
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
They say there’s always room for dessert. Well, some women take that even further and eat mostly sweets for their meals. It’s not a psychological issue—it’s simply their lifestyle.
She may not particularly like the meals you take her to, but might be going along with them because it seems like that’s what you want to do. Especially women whose everyday diet consists mostly of sweets are probably aware that their eating habits are unusual, so they may naturally act that way when dining with someone else.
If you ask what she really wants to eat and she says sweets alone are fine, that could be a little tough for you. If you’re willing to go along with a sweets-only meal because that’s what she wants, it might be worth exploring. But if not, there’s probably no point in asking.
If the adult relationship is good and she doesn’t seem particularly dissatisfied, maybe you should just leave things as they are.
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She’s probably a picky eater who dislikes meals but loves sweets. That’s not much different from a man who skips food and just drinks alcohol. I dislike both because they’re unhealthy.
Sweets are cheap, so I think you could just buy them for her. But if you’re wondering why you should have to do that as well, perhaps she simply isn’t the right match for you overall.
If the two of you have great physical chemistry and you can overlook it, buying her sweets might be enough to keep her happy.
Marika
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