Please tell me the signs of someone who is very controlling. Sometimes I think someone is a good person at first, but they gradually become more controlling, and I wonder if I should have noticed the signs sooner. We’ve already become close enough that it’s difficult to cut ties, so I’d like to recognize the signs early.

I’m Fullerene, one of the male members. Work’s been a little hectic lately! People who are overly possessive are usually insecure and lonely. For example, if someone claims to love traveling alone but still insists on tagging along with you, that seems suspicious to me. That’s just who they are in the first place. Telling them to stop being possessive is like telling a dog not to bark. Dogs bark because they want to; it has nothing to do with humans. What you need to do is train them, like a dog owner, so they don’t bark whenever they feel like it. Don’t let them walk all over you. Watching one of those “How to Train a Bad Dog” shows might actually give you some ideas. Seriously. You can see that it’s not just the dog who grows—the owner does too.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well. Thank you for your question. > I believe I’m also partly to blame for making him so possessive. That’s a common reaction—assuming that you must have done something wrong too. But you haven’t done anything wrong. He’s possessive simply because that’s the kind of person he was to begin with. Legally speaking, marriage exists for people who want that kind of exclusivity. So if he truly wants to control who you see, marriage would seem to be the appropriate arrangement. If that isn’t what you want, though, it’s only natural to wonder why he’s acting that way. If you dislike being controlled, you need to clearly tell him so. You also need to be firm and say, “If you keep trying to control me, I’ll end the relationship.” That way, when he feels like being possessive, he may decide that putting up with it is better than losing you. If he can’t control himself, he could potentially become a stalker, so it would be better to end things sooner rather than later. Also, negotiating for a higher allowance may help reduce his possessiveness. That can reinforce the idea that you’re primarily interested in the money, which may cool his feelings. Used little by little, this may allow you to manage the situation without ending the relationship.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I can only answer from the perspective of someone who’s the opposite of possessive. I’ve never once asked a favorite girl I see at least once a week about other offers or other men. I have absolutely no interest in it, and I don’t feel anxious or worried at all. It seems that the girls either take a break or leave the service sooner or later anyway.

I’m Basil, a male member. Not just in dating clubs—there’s a certain percentage of men like this everywhere. While they’re trying to win you over, they’re considerate in all sorts of ways, but once you start seeing each other, their attitude becomes, “You’re my woman, so do as I say.” If you keep being agreeable and doing what he says, that kind of relationship will only become more entrenched. If you need the money, you can accept that this is just how some men are and make peace with it. Otherwise, if you can’t put up with it, you’ll probably have to take a firm stance, even if it means saying goodbye.