When we like each other and have been seeing each other for quite a while, women sometimes start telling me about their work. Some have told me that they went out to dinner alone with their boss to discuss work, or that a client invited them to dinner alone to help win a contract, and things worked out well. Of course, they say they just had dinner and then went home.
What do you think is going through their minds when they tell me things like this? It leaves me feeling kind of uneasy. If they didn’t mention it, I probably wouldn’t think anything of it.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here, and I’ll answer as well.
Thanks for your question.
Generally, I think it’s common to talk about things close to home. And since talking about women probably wouldn’t be very interesting, I assume the conversation turned to that because it was something men tend to be interested in.
But if that level of conversation is enough to bother you, wouldn’t it be better to simply think, “He wanted to tell me about himself”?
I don’t really understand what exactly is bothering you.
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I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member.
The longer the arrangement continues and the more frequently you meet, the more everyday topics—yesterday, tomorrow, last week, this week, next week, and so on—will naturally come up. I think that’s a good thing.
If she has several papas, she won’t remember who she told what to, so she’ll probably either avoid sharing details as much as possible or end up telling everyone the same things, so that her stories remain consistent no matter who she’s with…
I don’t think this is the case, but it’s also possible that her claim about seeing other papas is just a made-up story. You can probably tell from your everyday conversations. She talks quite a lot about meeting her female friends too, right?
Also, I feel that things about work—topics, complaints, and asking for advice—are the kind of things that would naturally come up from the early stages of the relationship. If there was no setup beforehand, it would feel disconnected and somewhat unnatural.
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This is Marika.
Even if it were my boyfriend or husband, I’d get annoyed if he called me out on it.
When I need to talk to my boss, I catch him and have him take me out to dinner, too.
Well, if you’d rather they not go out of their way to tell you, why not just hint at that?
Or, if you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they deliberately told you because they wanted you to get jealous.
Though I doubt they’ve thought it through that much.
Feel free to stew over it on your own. That’s part of the fun, isn’t it?
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I don’t really understand the psychology behind it, but doesn’t it give you something to look forward to—letting out all that pent-up frustration afterward? Let’s try to see everything in a positive light.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Maybe she just wants someone to listen because something unpleasant happened.
I often hear from the women I’m seeing about bad experiences they’ve had on dates with other men. On rare occasions, they’ve even called me close to tears, and I’ve gone out to listen and comfort them.
If she isn’t talking about something unpleasant, she may be trying to show that she’s the kind of woman worth being pursued this much. She could be appealing to you—or even trying to convince herself.
Either way, I think you should simply listen to her. Having someone you can talk to like that is rare, so it probably means she feels close to you.
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