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Jan 13, 2021 13:40
9 answers
フラーレン
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🏅 明け方に低頻度で浮上する回答者です
細く長く続けばいいなあ
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Fulleren, a male member!
Oh, I see.
I assumed there were more married male members.
What exactly is a “smooth-sailing life,” anyway?
Not getting divorced?
Being blessed with good children?
You can calculate the odds of each individual factor, but please think carefully about what a “smooth-sailing life” means to you, and what you absolutely won’t compromise on.
Otherwise, you may end up dissatisfied while trying to have everything, even though each individual requirement seems simple enough. It’s basically the same issue as marriage-seeking women saying, “There are no ordinary men.”
I’m apparently a minority—a married man—but my wife and I get along well. We’re not intimate anymore, though.
Of course, we argue sometimes, but she’s been with me through thick and thin, so I don’t think her position could be shaken even if all the women I meet here banded together.
I’m oddly particular about loyalty in some ways, haha.
Well, marriage is a choice.
Getting married is a choice, staying married is a choice, and ending it is a choice too.
Once you’ve made your choice, all you can do is accept the outcome without complaining.
Other
I’m Taro, a male member.
People may say someone’s life has been smooth sailing, but that doesn’t really exist. Everyone has their ups and downs; whether you’re happy depends on how you choose to view your life.
They say misery is contagious when you spend time with people who constantly complain. If you want to be happy, it’s better to surround yourself with people who consider themselves happy and fortunate.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> I used to want to get married, but that desire has disappeared.
This is a dating club, so naturally, many of the people here have issues with marriage or married life. I get the impression that not many people use dating clubs when everything is perfectly fine.
If you ask the same question somewhere else, you’ll probably get very different answers.
I think it’s best to listen to opinions from various perspectives and then make your own decision. Personally, I don’t think marriage is all that bad.
People generally say that using a dating club is an affair, but I don’t really feel like I’m having an affair（笑）
I take care of both of them, and they both take care of me. Life is a little hectic, but it’s fulfilling and fun（笑）
It feels like I’m enjoying life twice as much during the latter half of my life.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Just the night before last, my wife and I had a fight—or rather, things got pretty intense—and she flew into a rage and hit and kicked me repeatedly. I didn’t want to go home after work yesterday, but I worked up the courage to go back and apologized by prostrating myself. For some reason, unless I apologize first, we can’t even have a discussion. It’s not like I’m entirely in the wrong, though (lol).
I don’t really feel that stressed about being physically attacked or having to prostrate myself anymore. I guess I’ve gotten used to it. It doesn’t feel like such a big deal now. The pride I lost here has actually helped me at work.
After apologizing, we talked things over, and decided to keep going as a couple. We’ve already gotten over so many huge hurdles—like me running away from home and having a missing-person report filed—that I doubt we’ll ever get divorced. But who knows.
We’ve clashed head-on and talked things through so many times that, in a way, our relationship might run pretty deep. I’m not sure, though.
We’ve had divorce as an option before, but honestly, I sometimes think it would be the same no matter who I married.
If you ask whether I’m happy, I’d say I’m half happy and half exhausted. It feels like this is something I’ve chosen for myself.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
Thank you for your question.
You mentioned that many people are divorced. In Japan, the divorce rate was 35.6% in 2015. Apparently, it was only 9.3% in 1970, so the number of people getting divorced has increased.
These days, one in three married people ends up getting divorced, so it may understandably seem like a lot.
But looking at it another way, two out of three people do not get divorced. I can’t say whether not getting divorced means they’re happy, but since I assume your question is based on the premise that people are happy if they don’t divorce—
that would mean 64.4% of married people are able to lead happy lives.
However, as Mac wrote, it seems you can also have a happy family without getting married. I think it would be good to consider what kind of life and family structure would make you happy.
Other
I’m Marika.
When I was 30, I met up with four close friends from girls’ high school for the first time in a while, and we caught up. Except for one friend who had married at 28, the other three were having affairs with older men.
More than ten years later, now that we’re all in our 40s, all four of us are married—but two have gotten divorced.
The divorce rate in Japan is about one in three, right? So our rate is slightly higher than average.
Incidentally, the two who are still married are full-time homemakers, while the two who divorced are, I’d say, relatively high earners for women.
I think you should either work hard to marry a high-income man and become a full-time homemaker, or work hard to become a high earner yourself and live the life you want.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
Whether someone’s life is going smoothly is a matter of personal perspective, so it’s not something others can judge. That’s why I don’t think there’s a definitive answer to your question.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in Seattle.
I feel the opposite of Flagmaker-san—I was happiest the day I finally got divorced. Those 15 years were hell.
Since getting divorced, I can’t get enough of how much fun life is.
I guess it depends on your partner. If they’re just so-so, I think life is more enjoyable being single.
It’s all about probability. If the odds of getting married are 66%, then maybe the odds of being happy are only around 33%?
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who gets treated like dirt by my wife whenever I try to give her a kiss every morning—“Ew, gross. Hurry up, hurry up.”
Does complaining like this count as bragging about how much I love her?
There’s nothing better than marriage.
You don’t have to take me seriously.
And just like they say, “You have to build a house three times before it becomes your ideal home,” it’s only natural that the chances of getting your ideal romance or marriage right the first time aren’t very high.