Hello. For men who are seeing a mistress exclusively, do you ever suspect that she might also be seeing other men?
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I currently have two papas and a long-distance boyfriend, and in the past I even worked as a hostess in Ginza. Since I have a very quiet personality, each of them has said things like, “You’re socially awkward, so it’s not like you could date any man other than me.”
I’ve been hiding it successfully, but sometimes, for example, when another papa calls while I’m at a hotel with one of them and I can’t answer, I wonder, “Will he suspect something?”
Here’s what I’m currently doing to prevent that:
・I’m completely open with my papas about my social circle, and when I meet another papa, I tell them, “I’m meeting [name].”
・I don’t use social media.
・When I’m with a papa, I give him my full attention and make sure we have a good time.
・Since I’m often told that I have a refined, innocent image, I try to maintain my appearance, figure, and way of speaking so I don’t ruin it.
・I reply to messages as promptly as possible.
Since I’m receiving a substantial allowance, I want to keep this hidden completely. I’d be grateful if the men here could tell me what kinds of moments make them suspicious. Thank you.
I’m a lost soul in my 60s.
If I met a woman through a dating club, I naturally assume she has other papas (male supporters) too.
“Suspicious”? What are you talking about?
If it ever comes to light and causes a problem, I can just own it and move on, can’t I?
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I don’t suspect anything, but I think I can sense whether someone else is there or not.
That said, whether there is someone or not isn’t all that important. It’s completely different from thinking of her as my girlfriend, but since I take our relationship seriously as lovers, what matters more to me is how sincerely she engages with me and whether I can feel that she truly values me.
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I’m a flag-making columnist.
I’m basically the opposite—I’m the type who hopes she has other papas (so she won’t try to get too much allowance from me).
So when she says something like, “Wait, did I already tell you about ○○ the other day?” I actually feel a little relieved for some reason. I can think, “She’s getting her stories mixed up about who she told this to.”
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I’m Taro, a male member.
There was one awkward mishap when we went into a hotel and turned on the TV:
“Haha! Whenever we come to a hotel lately, it’s always this show, isn’t it?”
“Huh?!”
As Mac mentioned too, I think the most important thing is not to confess.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office will answer as well.
Thank you for your question.
I think most ordinary men assume that you probably have other partners too.
The ones who are suspicious are probably the men who want to have you exclusively. But people like that will doubt you over even the smallest things.
The issue is whether your story eventually falls apart somewhere.
As long as everything adds up, they’ll have no choice but to believe you, even if they do find it a little odd.
So I think you just need to be careful to keep your story consistent and avoid contradictions.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If you’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or seeing someone as a mistress, I don’t think people will see you as particularly innocent or refined anyway, so I think your current approach is fine.
You naturally trust someone when she’s your romantic partner, but when money is involved, I don’t see any point in being suspicious. Sometimes you can tell, and sometimes you can’t, but either way, I think you only lose by worrying about it.
In your case, you probably don’t need to worry too much about being found out. If she replies immediately but can’t answer the phone, she may already have picked up on something naturally—thinking, “She’s seeing someone, but her replies are slow,” or noticing that the conversation doesn’t add up. Still, men also only lose by worrying about it.
What matters most is whether you genuinely need and value the other man. If you feel that way, I think that’s enough.
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I’m in Seattle.
Since it’s impossible to have an attractive woman all to yourself unless you marry her, I’ve more or less accepted it rather than questioning her.
If I were suspicious of anything, it would probably be things like only being able to meet on weekdays, never on weekends, or taking a long time to reply.
I think the precautions you’re taking are perfectly reasonable.
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