I have a very possessive papa (a male supporter), and I’m expected to reply to his messages constantly… I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it. How can I ask him tactfully to increase my allowance? I’d appreciate some advice!

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here with an answer as well. Thank you for your question. > I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it. If that’s how you feel, I think you should end things. And if you’re okay with breaking things off, it seems like you’d be in a position to negotiate as well. There’s a higher chance the negotiation won’t work out. Even so, if you go all in, you may improve your chances a little. And if it doesn’t work, you’ll probably feel better knowing you can simply walk away. As for what to say, this is less a negotiation and more of a complaint: tell him how you feel, then end things. If he tries to keep you around, that’s when you can negotiate for a higher allowance. If he doesn’t, then he was only that invested in you to begin with—and all the time you spent putting up with things was wasted.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I agree with Riichi. If you want to control me, then pay me for it (lol). If you feel the arrangement isn’t worth it, you should tell her clearly. If you don’t, you’ll keep feeling uncomfortable about it. You could simply say, “I’m not good at keeping in frequent contact, so please don’t expect quick replies.”

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Since the maximum allowance is generally offered when the arrangement begins, I think it’s extremely difficult to increase it after that. If anything, it seems more common for the allowance to be reduced after the arrangement starts—or for the arrangement to end altogether. If you’d like to increase the total amount you receive, why not try negotiating through things other than the allowance, such as asking for gifts or making requests?

I’m Taro, a male member. It’s difficult to raise the allowance. The more times you see each other, the more he may feel that your affection has deepened, so the amount doesn’t need to be that high. After even more time passes, he may start thinking, “She’s gotten older, so isn’t this amount too much?” People who came by easy money may be different, but those who earned their money through hard work tend to be pretty strict about spending it. Some people may hand out money freely like congratulatory gifts, but it’s probably best to assume they’re urban legends. Now, to answer your question. The first option is to negotiate a raise directly. Your honest reason may be that dealing with him takes extra effort, and if he also sees this as a transactional relationship, you may be able to negotiate on that basis. But if he mistakenly believes it’s all about affection, that approach could backfire. The second option is to bring the man’s mindset back down to reality to some extent. Say things like, “Your possessiveness is getting difficult to deal with,” or, “To be honest, aren’t we seeing each other because of the money?” The idea is to make him face reality and reduce the pressure. However, how you phrase it is crucial. Men can be surprisingly girlish and sensitive, so communicate carefully. The third option is to take the first approach a step further and be more ruthless. You could say something like, “I’ve received an offer from someone else with better terms. I’d like to continue seeing you, but I have financial concerns too, and I can’t help thinking about the better offer.” That’s one way to push for an increase. Still, no matter which approach you take, negotiating comes with the risk of being dropped. So the ultimate answer is: “Start by increasing your options.” Do whatever you can—get new photos taken, update your profile comments, upload private photos, anything—and solicit offers until you find your next potential papa (a male supporter). Then negotiate. That’s probably the best order to do things in.

I’m a male member going by “Paper Airplane.” Ladies, if there are things you have to put up with, even to a small extent, I think it’s okay to end things. You don’t need to force yourself to continue seeing someone.