I always read the anonymous Q&A and learn a lot from it.

I’m a male member, and here’s my take. Normally, if you’ve continued seeing someone for more than six months since joining, your priority should have gone up regardless of the allowance. So if it went down, I think it simply means you weren’t able to inspire her to feel grateful toward you. There doesn’t seem to be much benefit for her in meeting a man she isn’t attracted to. Also, if she currently has that many ongoing arrangements, I’d assume the allowances she receives from them aren’t particularly high, but rather fairly standard.

I’m Taro, one of the members. If the alternative is ending things, I think it’s better to talk about it. Personally, I’d want her to tell me. If you’re actually being offered more by someone else, then that’s simply market forces—it’s an entirely reasonable negotiation. That said, money negotiations can be delicate, so it’s best to be as straightforward as possible. If you try to hide things awkwardly, he may start reading between the lines and make the conversation more complicated. If he already knows you’re seeing other men, I think you can just explain the facts honestly. If not, it might be better to keep it somewhat vague, like: “I met someone who made me a new offer, and I’m unsure what to do.” Men can be surprisingly sensitive about these things（笑）. Unless he’s also told you stories about times things worked out well for him, if all you’ve heard are his stories about things going badly, you can probably guess how he’ll react. Also, negative information can trigger an emotional backlash, so first emphasize the positive feeling that you’d ideally like to continue the relationship. You could say something like, “I know some people might say I should just leave without saying anything in this situation, but I felt I could talk to you, so I decided to be honest.” It’s fine to lay it on a little thick. Since it sounds like you have other options, the risk is probably fairly low. So go into the negotiation with confidence and plenty of leeway. I don’t think the experience of negotiating for a higher allowance will be wasted.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Since you’ve been seeing each other for six months, your papa (a male supporter) probably assumes that you’re satisfied with the arrangement. So it’s easy to imagine that he might feel offended if you tried to negotiate a higher allowance. If your priority is to enjoy yourself and avoid unpleasant feelings, I think you should stop worrying about him and switch to another papa with better terms. On the other hand, if you want to continue seeing him because you’ve been together for a long time and he’s a good person, then I think you should simply put up with it. I honestly find it hard to understand why he would complain to the woman he’s seeing about offers he’s made to other women.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I think arrangements through dating clubs involve both people feeling things out and trying to find a comfortable middle ground. In your case, I have a feeling that negotiating for a higher allowance would probably bring the relationship to an end, but ultimately, it depends on how the man feels. If you do negotiate for an increase, it may help to emphasize what’s in it for him. If he can see what sets you apart from other women, he may be willing to increase the allowance.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer as well. Thank you for your question. > If I negotiate for a higher allowance with someone who thinks he’s popular, will he take offense? Yes, exactly. Men tend to assume that the allowance they offer is perfectly reasonable. They’re the only ones who don’t realize how low it actually is. If you awkwardly try to tell them that the amount is too low, they’ll just say things like, “Do you have any idea how long it takes me to earn that much?”—and you’ll only end up feeling uncomfortable. With men like that, I think it’s best to say nothing and simply end things. And even after you break things off, most men have no idea why it ended. If you tell them, “Wasn’t it because the allowance was too low?” they’ll say things like, “But we’d been seeing each other just fine at that amount,” or, “She seemed happy too, so that can’t be it.” There’s no point in saying anything to men like that. I think it’s best to part ways while preserving the good memories. You could tell him something along the lines of, “I think I’m going to graduate from papa-katsu,” and then you may be able to end things on a positive note. Since you’re receiving 10–20 offers, I think you should end things with men whose terms are unfavorable.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I have to admit, I’m a little envious that he feels comfortable enough with you to vent about his offers to other women. When he complains, why not gently suggest that maybe the allowance is on the low side? That could also give you a natural opening to let him know that you feel your own allowance is low, without making things awkward. Of course, negotiating your allowance comes with some risk. But since you’re already considering ending the relationship, I think you can afford to be a little more direct. At the very least, you could hint—or tell him—that you think he’s a wonderful man, that you’ve been seeing each other since you first joined, and that you’d ideally like to continue the relationship. Then you might mention something like, “The allowances I receive from other men are around this amount.” I think the best time to bring it up is when he starts venting.