I’ll have been using the club for three full years this coming January.
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For those of you who have met a Type D woman but didn’t move on to an adult relationship because she was different from the image you had imagined from your conversations and profile photos, or for reasons other than the allowance, what were those reasons? And what did you say to her at the time? I’d like to hear what you did.
The background to my question is that I’ve offered a letter date to a Type D woman. We’ve exchanged about five emails and decided on our introductions, the allowance, the meeting place, and so on. Now all that remains is to wait for the day itself.
But I’ve started wondering: what if, after meeting and talking with her, I feel that she’s a little different from what I had imagined? What if I feel that I might not enjoy the time ahead, or that I probably wouldn’t be able to continue seeing her? I’ve been thinking about what words or expressions would make those feelings easier for her to accept, so I decided to ask for everyone’s opinions.
Until now, I haven’t tried online dating. I’ve mainly had dates arranged as first meetings through the club, and I’ve mostly offered to Type B or C women. So it wasn’t assumed from the moment we met that things would lead to an adult relationship; I was able to steer things through conversation over tea or a meal.
This is my first letter date, and it’s also my first time offering to a Type D woman. Since we’ve already agreed on the allowance, she’ll presumably come prepared for an intimate adult relationship—mentally preparing herself, adjusting her schedule, and making all the necessary arrangements for the day. Thinking about that made me worry about what I should do if the feelings I mentioned earlier arise.
I probably won’t be able to make time before the New Year, and I’m now regretting offering a letter date. At first, I thought I might as well enjoy getting to know her until we could meet in person.
If there are any female respondents who are Type D, how would you feel if the situation I described happened to you?
I’m sorry for asking such a self-centered question. I’d be grateful to hear your thoughts.
I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer your question as well.
Thank you for your question.
I’m not quite sure what you mean by saying that, despite having been with the club for three years, this is your first offer to someone in Relationship Type D.
That said, I assume there was some reason you wanted to make an offer to a D-type woman. Perhaps it would be helpful to think again about what that feeling was really about.
> I was able to control things through conversation over tea or a meal.
I imagine you could have managed things through LINE and other messages as well, but perhaps it was difficult because an in-person conversation felt different.
Also, since you’ve already discussed the allowance, I think you’ve reached the point where not becoming intimate that day would feel disrespectful to her.
So rather than worrying about that, I think you should focus on how you can both have an enjoyable time that day.
If you do that, you may find that you can manage the conversation as you have before, while having tea or a meal.
And if you decide in advance that you’ll pay the agreed allowance even if you part ways there, the amount will be the same whether you only talk or things progress afterward. That may help you feel more at ease.
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I’m a male member who recently went on dates with two women on the same day: one I’d started to feel, from our online conversations, might be different from the image I had of her—and that spending time together might not be enjoyable or sustainable—and another whose expectations I’d built up through a letter date, thinking, “I’m really looking forward to meeting her.”
Before meeting them, my feelings were the opposite of yours: I was more excited about the letter-date woman, while the online woman left me feeling down and somewhat gloomy about the day…
But once I met them, I thought, “Huh? Really?”
The results were completely opposite of what I’d expected…
The online woman was even lovelier than she appeared in her photos, videos, and online conversations. The letter-date woman was the exact opposite…
So in your case as well, you won’t know which way things will go until you actually meet them…
Since the allowance has already been agreed on, going to a hotel would probably be expected unless something was seriously wrong. Still, I think it’s fine to see whether you click. That said, if you’ve been a member for three years, you’ve probably already avoided situations where things are so far off that you couldn’t go to a hotel…
I don’t think you need to worry too much about types B, C, and D, but you should pay attention to your own cleanliness and overall impression—especially your smell.
Also, once you meet in person, the speed of her replies, her reactions, what she says, and how enjoyable the conversation is may all change dramatically.
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I’m Kazu, a male member who also assumed that Type C arrangements involved an adult relationship.
Whether it was Type C or D, I’ve sometimes met someone through a standard offer, not felt a connection, and ended things after just having a meal. The reasons varied—perhaps I didn’t like the way she laughed, her profile photos were too flattering, she turned out to be boring to talk to, or I simply didn’t feel that spark. In those situations, I’ve probably handled it the same way as you: avoided bringing up an adult relationship and ended the date.
If you’ve already offered an allowance for an adult relationship in advance, I think you should take responsibility and, at the very least, accompany her to a room on the day of the in-person date.
I don’t think the problem was the letter date itself, but rather the mistake of offering the allowance for an adult relationship beforehand. I hope you can learn from this and handle things better next time. I learned something from this as well. Thank you.
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