Why do older men in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) insist on making the women they see read the books they’ve read?
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I have a job, hobbies, and multiple papas, so I’m extremely busy. Even if they bring me books I have absolutely no interest in, I don’t have the time—or the motivation—to read them. And then I feel like they’ll ask me what I thought of the book. I already have a pile of unread books from various papas taking up space. It’s incredibly annoying in every possible way.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Maybe she’s just trying to find something you have in common. For someone like me, who isn’t much of a reader, though, that’s a bit of a nuisance (lol).
Just flip through the table of contents, read only the parts that interest you, then read the beginning and the end to get the gist—and off to BookOff it goes. That should work, kind of like how I used to put together book reports back in school.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
You have multiple papas, and every one of them brings you a book recommendation each time? That sounds like quite a situation. I can understand how you feel.
It’s not that I’m particularly fixated on books, but I do talk about movies and music I like. And if someone reacts enthusiastically to my recommendations, I might keep recommending things along those lines.
What I’m trying to say is, maybe you’re reacting in a way that encourages them to do this. Of course, there may be some weirdo who keeps automatically recommending books regardless of the other person’s reaction, but I think that’s pretty rare.
If you don’t want something, just say you don’t want it. If you found it boring, it’s fine to say it was boring.
I once lent a girl the DVD of Apollo 13, and when I asked what she thought the next time we met, she said, “It was too old for me to relate to emotionally.”
We stayed together for four years.
She never returned the DVD, so I bought the Blu-ray separately.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
Thank you for your question.
I think they’re trying to find something in common because conversations flow more easily and are more enjoyable when you share the same hobbies or topics. It just happened to be books in this case.
If you don’t have time for that, I think you should instead offer up one of your own hobbies or another topic you can share.
There may be men who are only interested in being intimate, but there are also men who want to spend time with someone they enjoy and can get excited talking with about shared interests.
With that in mind, if you don’t have time to read, I think it would be better to make an effort to tell the other person about your own hobbies or offer some shared interests and conversation topics.
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While I was accompanying my daughter to buy the complete Jujutsu Kaisen manga collection, she said, “Maybe I should get ◯◯ plastic surgery.” I replied, “Maybe Papa should, too,” and she said, “You don’t need to. You’re just going to die anyway.”
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member already with one foot in the coffin.
When I mentioned the manga I wanted to read:
“So you’d just read manga throughout the entire date…”
At men’s esthetic massage parlors, some customers bring piles of manga with them, so maybe it’s an extension of that. Some people are perfectly happy just reading during their allotted time without getting a massage… I guess it’s still better than taking overtime work home…
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve never done anything like that, but I guess there are several papas who do. I’d be tempted to ask for overtime allowance（笑）
I get the feeling he just wants something to talk about. It’s a shame, though, that instead of making an effort himself, he expects the woman to read the books he’s read.
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I’m in Seattle.
I can’t believe there are really that many bothersome older guys out there.
Tell him to turn it into a manga. Or just tell him, “I don’t have time to read it.”
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