I celebrated Christmas a little early with a man I’m close to. The only present he gave me was an adult toy, and I suddenly felt like, “Oh, so he only sees me as a way to satisfy his sexual needs.” I’m not sure if I’m turned off, sad, or just disappointed…

I’m Marika. Maybe the man she’s seeing reads this Q&A box a little too much? Hopefully he’ll read this question too and give her an extra gift.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, answering as well. Thank you for your question. Men sometimes assume that giving something means it will be appreciated as a present, so perhaps he viewed the adult toys the same way. That said, I think it’s better to regard a gift of adult toys as the man’s own self-satisfaction. I’m sure there are women who genuinely want them, but generally speaking, I think most women would prefer something else. With that in mind, perhaps the man you’re seeing simply hasn’t realized this yet. However, I don’t think he sees you merely as a way to satisfy his desires. If that were the case, I doubt he would bother going out for meals with you; he’d probably just arrange to meet at a hotel. Since he’s simply mistaken, why not be blunt and tell him how you really feel this time? Something like: “When the only present I received was an adult toy, I felt disappointed because it made me think you see me as nothing more than a way to satisfy your desires.” If he cuts you off over that, then he’s just that kind of person, and it may be for the best. If he was simply mistaken, I think he’ll take some kind of action to make things right. It’s much too early to be pessimistic.

I’m Kazu, a male member. The man probably didn’t mean any harm, but it was still a matter of basic consideration. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. We didn’t give each other presents. Since he wanted to celebrate, we just had cake together.

This morning, as I was leaving for work, my wife spat out, “Don’t ever bother coming home again.” I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I can only imagine how you must feel. As you suspected, that doesn’t really count as a present… If the allowance is generous enough, there’s no need for gifts (and it’s perfectly fine to receive a thank-you gift from the woman instead), but giving her that as a Christmas present is just incredibly stingy on the man’s part. Even when gifts aren’t necessary, you still feel like giving something to a particularly special favorite. What do I choose? Naturally, I go shopping with her and look for something she wants.