If a woman you once had things go wrong with—and haven’t been in touch with for a while—suddenly invited you out one day, would most men feel happy about it?
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Also, if they weren’t particularly pleased or didn’t feel like meeting her, how would they usually respond?
Akai from the Tokyo branch of Universe Club would also like to respond.
Thank you for reaching out.
If there were problems in the past, it may be difficult to rebuild the relationship, no matter how much time you invest.
When a woman you haven’t been in touch with for a while suddenly asks to meet, there could be various reasons behind it. Maybe she simply has some free time now, or perhaps she needs money.
If it’s the former, you may be happy about it. But if it’s the latter, it may feel like she’s only looking for a quick, temporary solution, and not many men would be pleased with that.
Perhaps due to the impact of COVID, we’ve also been seeing more women come in for interviews because they’ve found themselves in need of money and feel they have no other choice.
As for how to respond, I think that ultimately depends on you.
If you want to stay in touch, you could simply ignore her message or block her. If you’d rather talk things over before deciding, I believe the priority should be to have an honest discussion, including the problems that occurred in the past.
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This is Nagato from the Tokyo team.
It may depend on what exactly you mean by things not having worked out in the past, but I think most people would still be pleased to hear from someone they had grown somewhat distant from.
When I’m not particularly happy to hear from someone, my replies seem to become even shorter than usual.
I’m not sure how helpful this will be, but I hope it provides some insight.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
Thanks for your question.
I think it depends on what happened when you stopped contacting each other.
If the man had been reaching out but the woman simply never replied, he’ll probably be happy to hear from her—very happy, I imagine.
Some men may be sulking, but most are probably still curious. You could give some odd explanation like:
“My phone got waterlogged and I lost your contact, but I happened to remember that I’d written it down somewhere else.”
That should be fine.
Although, come to think of it, a lot of women seem to say they’ve waterlogged their phones. But it didn’t really get waterlogged, did it? (笑)
On the other hand, if the woman had been reaching out and he never replied, then naturally, it’ll probably be difficult even if she contacts him again.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’m honestly happy when a woman reaches out after a long time. That said, in most cases so far, she’s turned into a total money grabber. It’s easy to imagine why a woman who lost touch after something happened would get back in contact, though (lol).
Even when a woman reaches out, I don’t invite her out myself. I decide whether to meet based on how she approaches me.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I wonder what happened that made things not work out. If it was something serious, it may be difficult—but if it was something minor, there might still be a chance.
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
I suppose it depends on the circumstances.
If I’m satisfied with my current situation, I won’t meet someone things didn’t work out with before. It wouldn’t make me happy.
If I keep the connection open as a kind of backup, I’ll reply with a casual greeting or something along those lines. If they don’t respond by suggesting we meet, I take that as their way of reacting.
Since nearly ten times as many women as men join every month, it’s probably safe to assume they’ve already found someone better.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it depends on the reason things didn’t work out and whether she’s willing to address that issue before inviting you out.
If I’m not really interested in meeting, I’ll just reply politely out of courtesy and avoid making plans.
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