How should I respond when I get annoyed by someone making fun of my age?

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. Thank you for your question. > He got angry and said, “Don’t say things like that lol. That’s not something a woman should say!” Most men date younger women through dating clubs. Normally, women with more experience who are considerate are easier and more relaxing to be around, and I think that’s a good thing. Even so, they still choose to date younger women. Younger women often have a unique way of thinking, and they can introduce men to things they didn’t know about, including current trends. There’s also the appeal of how different younger skin feels. When celebrity age-gap marriages make the news, it’s usually because the woman is significantly younger. Some men may also want a woman who thinks, “I may be experienced and considerate, but I’m not going to lose to younger women when it comes to youth either. I take good care of myself, so I can still compete with younger women who don’t.” That may especially be true for men who want to support women who are working hard. So, rather than someone who simply says, “I can’t compete with younger women anymore,” he may actually be happier with a woman who says, “I’m still not going to lose to younger women—and my skin looks great, doesn’t it?” At the same time, although he wants you to keep trying, he may not want you to push yourself so hard that you get into serious trouble. > “You’re not young anymore either,” or “You’re getting on in years!!!” … Maybe those comments are his way of putting on the brakes. I think he understands better than anyone that we all grow older no matter what we do. That’s precisely why he doesn’t want you to lose to younger people mentally, and wants you to keep making an effort. But if you push yourself too hard and suddenly start doing high-intensity exercise as you get older, you could hurt yourself, so you need to find a balance. That’s probably the kind of thing he has in mind. And perhaps, as you become closer, people do start speaking more bluntly. I don’t think he realizes that his words are hurting you.

I’m Flagmaker, a columnist. Isn’t this basically that thing where people from Kansai—especially Osaka—tease and put down the people they’re close to as a form of communication? Don’t they say it while laughing, like they’re joking? Kansai people who can’t read the room mistake it for being funny, then do it all over Japan and leave everyone uncomfortable. When I go back to my hometown, my friends tease me endlessly about being bald, and honestly, I love it. The first thing they say when we meet after a long time is, “Whoa, what happened to your head?” Even when we go out to eat: “○○’s bald, so you’re getting something with kelp in it, right?” Or, for some reason, they’ll order me ginger ale without asking, saying, “You’re bald, so ginger ale for you.” After a while, they’ll ask again, “Wait, what happened to your head?” Toward the end, they stop calling me by my name and say, “Hey, you over there, Baldy.” Then if we’re walking around outside at night, they’ll say things like, “Oh, there’s a light nearby. That’s convenient.” I get endless bald jokes. I think it’s probably a uniquely Kansai cultural thing. In Kanto, nobody teases me about being bald, so honestly, it feels a little lacking, lol. As for how to respond, the right move is probably to jokingly get mad—“Oh, come on!”—and lightly bop them a few times, or say, “Keep talking like that and I’ll bite your d*ck, lol.”

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > I really don’t understand why men like this tease their mistresses about their age. > I wondered whether it might be because he himself has some insecurities about getting older. What do you think? That may well be the case. I’m in my sixties, and reading your question made me wonder whether I might have some insecurities about aging myself… When I look at myself naked in the mirror, there are parts of me that make me think, “I didn’t used to look like this.” Perhaps he says those things because he really likes this woman and doesn’t want to lose her, doesn’t want to take her for granted, and wants her to stay youthful forever.

“Ow, that hurt!” I was suddenly jabbed in the side. “Huh??” Then my wife said, “You’re getting on my nerves.” “ What?” “You leave things lying around… They’re not going to put themselves away automatically… I’m not a machine…” And there’s more… This is Paper Airplane, a male member. > He’s extremely suspicious that I’m seeing other men and keeps telling me, “I’m only dating you.” That’s a textbook example of an insecure man. So he keeps blurting out tactless comments, continuing to do things the other person dislikes, and ends up being hated for it. In other words, I imagine he has nothing but painful, unpleasant memories and can’t think positively or feel secure. So try talking back with something like, “You’re 50 yourself—you’re practically a grandpa. All that’s left for you is to die, right? You look 80 already.” The fact that he keeps repeating it means he has absolutely no understanding of the other person’s feelings (men can be like that… so oblivious… sorry…), so you may need to knock him down hard—not just once, but keep teaching him a lesson every month without letting up. Think of him as a punching bag and keep hitting him. P.S. If I don’t start the dishwasher and get breakfast ready soon, I’m going to get beaten up…

I’m a male member, Fullerene! There seem to be all kinds of questions, but when you get right down to it—as you’ve probably already realized—I think the real issue is that “he’s insecure about his own age.” He knows he isn’t young anymore, so he wants people to tell him that he looks young. That’s why it feels like he’s making the questioner the butt of the joke before she can say anything. So why not try reacting to him the same way? “You’re not young anymore either, you know.” ⇒ “You’re not young anymore either, so don’t push yourself.” “You really don’t look like you’re in your 30s.” “I’d have guessed you were about 26.” “Your skin is so nice.” ⇒ “You really don’t look like you’re in your 50s either.” “I’d have guessed you were about 36.” “Your skin is so nice.” “I’m only seeing you.” ⇒ “You’re the only one who’ll date me now that I’m getting older, so please don’t leave me.” Something like that. That last one even made me feel a little queasy while writing it, but I get the feeling there are quite a few people who actually like that kind of thing.