Tips
Dec 17, 2020 12:36
5 answers
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I know how you feel.
I think that’s perfectly normal.
I’m sure men feel the same way—not just women.
Like, “She doesn’t seem very into it…” or “This is all about the money…”
Let’s enjoy the dating club while accepting those kinds of feelings!
フラーレン
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 明け方に低頻度で浮上する回答者です
細く長く続けばいいなあ
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Fullerene, a male member!
“An emotion that feels like a mix of anger, sadness, and jealousy” is a great way to put it. It sounds especially evocative when you say it out loud.
I think I can understand how you feel, at least to some extent. It’s perfectly normal.
If you can, try thinking about how much of those feelings are coming from self-love.
It’s easy to get hopelessly stuck when self-love and romantic feelings for the other person become all tangled up.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I'm Flag Maker, a column writer.
I understand how you feel. I think it's perfectly normal. Maybe it's simply a difference in gender and personality.
The only emotion I feel is sadness.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here—I’ll answer as well.
Thank you for your question.
I don’t think anger is a normal reaction, but feelings like sadness or jealousy seem pretty natural.
That said, if you’re keeping things purely transactional, you probably wouldn’t feel that way. So even though you thought you had no romantic feelings, it sounds like you may have had some after all.
If you insist on maintaining the stance that you don’t have romantic feelings, you’ll only end up wondering what those emotions are. But if you acknowledge that you do have feelings while still wanting the money, those emotions may start to feel perfectly natural.
That may also help you treat him more kindly—and you might even move from being kept on the side to becoming his main partner.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
When things aren’t going well, I think it’s perfectly normal to have those negative feelings. Start by looking inward and sorting out what exactly you’re angry, sad, or jealous about. Then analyze why you’re being kept as a backup. If you take the right steps, you may be able to stop being treated as a backup option.
If things are already going well, though, I think you may simply be asking for too much. Learn to appreciate what you have.