A man has offered to rent me an apartment near my workplace. I really appreciate the gesture, and I’ve turned him down several times, but he keeps saying, “Are you sure? I’ll prepare everything for you,” which puts me in a difficult position. If I were single, I think I would have accepted his offer.
If I were to live in the apartment, I could see him whenever we wanted, and I’d be fine with him having a spare key and coming into the apartment. But… I have a family, so I still can’t live in an apartment he rents for me.
Is there any good way to handle this?
Apparently, renting one near my home is out of the question; he insists it has to be along the route between my workplace and home…
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
If he knows you’re married and is saying this anyway, I think you should consider whether you really want to continue seeing him.
For now, he’s only talking about renting an apartment for you, but things could escalate. He may start making stricter demands, such as telling you when you have to be at the apartment.
If you’re not considering divorce, then your club activities are just for fun. If you want to protect your current married life, you should keep it that way.
I think it would be best to tell him, “I don’t want to disrupt my current life, so I’d like things to stay the way they’ve been.”
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I’m Kamihikōki, a male member who treats her to home-cooked meals at her place again today.
Wouldn’t it work to have him rent a place where you could go for your private rendezvous—a little love nest?
Even if you don’t actually live there, you could furnish it as though you did…
He could relax and wait there anytime, making the most of even a short visit. Waiting while scrolling on his phone is also much more comfortable indoors.
You could furnish it with all the essentials—furniture, bedding, and so on—as if you were moving in, relax there together, cook and eat home-cooked meals, and enjoy doing things as a team. It’s incredibly fun. Food always seems to taste especially good when you’re eating it together…
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, answering as well.
Thank you for your question.
I couldn’t think of any particularly good approach, so I think it would be best to firmly turn her down.
Unfortunately, a condo is out of the question. If you’re asking for anything beyond that, I don’t think we can continue seeing each other.
You may be better off ending things along those lines.
If that leads to an immediate breakup, then I suppose that’s all the relationship meant to her.
On the other hand, if she says she won’t bring it up again, you could consider continuing to see her as before.
If you don’t turn her down, I suspect she’ll keep bringing it up repeatedly for as long as you’re together.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
He knows you’re married, yet he wants you to live in an apartment he’s prepared for you. Honestly, he comes across as a total pervert who puts his own desires first.
You don’t actually need an apartment, do you? lol
Maybe he wants to play house with you as a married woman—to watch you cook in an apron in the kitchen, then sneak up behind you and pounce on you. He wants to fool around.
He wants to have s*x with you in an everyday, lived-in setting.
Maybe that’s the kind of fantasy he has?
How about compromising by letting him fulfill that desire temporarily in a weekly rental apartment for a month or so?
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Universe Tokyo
Sub-chief Aizawa answers.
First of all, does the man know that you’re married? If so, he certainly has quite a lot of nerve...
I think it would be best to be honest and tell him, “I have a family, so I can’t move out and live somewhere else.”
It sounds like he may want to keep you all to himself. But if he knows you’re married and is still saying this, I can’t help wondering whether he wants to destroy your family and, if things work out, marry you.
If that’s not the case, then he simply hasn’t considered that he’d be destroying the other person’s happiness. Perhaps you should explain that to him.
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