I’m in my 30s, and I have no desire to get married or have children. I’m happy and satisfied with my life as it is, and I’ve told the men I see that.

I’m Flaren, a male member! I truly believe the man you’re seeing cares about you deeply. I think he wants you to be happy, and that marriage and having children are part of the happiness he envisions for you. So even if you forced yourself to marry someone you didn’t really want to be with and became married, his guilt wouldn’t disappear. Besides, there’s no reason why these two things can’t coexist: “Feeling guilty,” and “Having a good time when you’re together.” Please accept his gratitude wholeheartedly.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. Thank you for your question. I don’t think the man is taking it that seriously. He’s probably just bringing up having children as one possible option, saying that it can be a good thing. If he really felt strongly about it, I think he would have stopped seeing you by now. So I don’t think you need to worry too much. The reason he brings it up is probably because you’ve told him that you have no interest at all in getting married or having children. That may be how you feel now, but he may be trying to tell you that it’s better to think it through while you’re still young—wondering whether you might regret not having children when you’re older, or what you’ll do when you eventually die alone. You may feel that’s still a long way off, but because of the age gap, he may be at an age where he’s starting to think about the end of his own life as well. I think he’s simply concerned about you and doesn’t want you to regret anything. Still, since the topic has come up, it might be worth thinking about whether you’d truly be okay being alone when you’re 70 or 80.

I’m Hikōki, a male member. It sounds like you have a good relationship. > If I get married and we’re both married, would the other man feel less guilty…? I actually think he might feel more guilty, since your marriage could make him feel like he’s getting in the way. At least for now, he probably doesn’t feel like he’s interfering with your married life, so he can simply think of you as a single woman and enjoy the relationship.

I’m Kazu, a male member who appreciates being told that a partner likes me, but feels uncomfortable when she says she loves me. The reason the man feels guilty is that he assumes women naturally want to get married and have children. He probably feels sorry that he can’t return the questioner’s love by marrying her, which is why he says those things. I don’t think it would be easy for the questioner to change his preconceived notions. When does he bring up marriage and having children? If he mentions marriage whenever the questioner says she likes or loves him, then perhaps hearing those words makes him feel guilty. If so, why not start by refraining from saying “I love you”? And if he still seems to feel guilty when you say you like him, try stopping that too. You don’t have to say you love or like someone for them to know how you feel. It would be nice if we lived in a world where polygamy was accepted.