When do men become jealous of the women they’re seeing? Do men in their 50s or 60s stop feeling jealousy?

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. It bothers me when she talks about other men. Is this jealousy...? I do want her to keep things discreet for safety reasons, but it’s also true that I want to feel like I’m the only one. Am I being too possessive...?

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you stop feeling jealous. As we age, we gain all kinds of life experience and become fairly good at judging what we can and can’t do. At that point, we learn the skill of giving up on the things we can’t do. I believe that using that skill is what makes us less jealous. In other words, someone who doesn’t get jealous may simply be someone who gives up—or moves on—quickly. As for your question, I think his behavior is driven by jealousy. However, changing the subject is a form of “逃げ,” or avoidance, so he may already be close to giving up. Men are motivated when their jealousy is stirred up. But if you push it too far, they can become discouraged and give up. Your papa (a male supporter) seems to be close to that point, so I think you’ll be able to maintain a better relationship if you avoid talking about other men as much as possible.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. Thanks for your question. It really depends on the person, but men who want to have someone all to themselves may feel jealous. For the majority of men who aren’t like that, jealousy probably isn’t really a concept. Many of them simply want to support women together. If that’s their mindset, they likely won’t mind hearing about other men. In fact, they may be more curious, thinking, “So there are people like that too?” That said, be careful when praising another man. Some men may read too much into it and think, “Are you trying to say I’m different?” or take it as a dig. If you’re unsure, it’s probably safest to only share stories like, “I had a tough time with a man like this—but I’m glad you’re not like that.”

I’m Kazu, a male member. As you said, some people become less jealous over time. They’ve probably learned through experience that there’s no point in being jealous. On the other hand, some people become less able to control their emotions. You know how there are elderly people who yell at store clerks? Their emotional brakes have weakened. People like that may be quick-tempered or burning with jealousy. Personally, among young men and women and middle-aged and older men and women, I think middle-aged and older men are the most intensely jealous. So if someone reacts awkwardly when their partner talks about another man, I think it’s best to avoid that topic. I actually enjoy hearing about other men because I find it interesting. The only time I might feel jealous is if I heard, “He was young, incredibly energetic, and kept going for about 30 minutes.” Hearing something like that would make me gaze off into the distance, envious of the stamina and virility of men in their twenties. But that isn’t jealousy toward the woman—it’s jealousy toward that young man’s physical stamina... In the end, regardless of age, some people barely feel jealousy while others feel it intensely. I think you should choose your topics based on the man’s reaction.

I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.” I’m not jealous, but when it comes to the places she goes, the things she sees, eats, and buys… I do have a desire to be the first man to share those experiences with her. Of course, it depends on the man in question… Ideally, I want her to feel that I’m special because I’m someone she can rely on, feel soothed by, relax with, and have fun with. So if she doesn’t really feel that way—if someone else would be just as good—I find myself wondering whether we really need to meet that often. It makes me feel like there’s nothing that only I can offer her.