I met up with my papa (a male supporter), whom I see once a month.
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Since it’s the Christmas season, I thought I’d give him a small present.
He accepted it and said thank you at the time, but he didn’t stop anywhere on the way home to get me a present, and he hasn’t mentioned it at all on LINE either…
It’s not like I wanted a bag or jewelry. Even some snacks from a convenience store would have been fine—or honestly, I would have felt appreciated if he’d just sent me a quick “thank you” on LINE. It left me feeling a little lonely.
Are men really this indifferent? Is it wrong to expect something in return for a present?
I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this one as well.
Thank you for your question.
I often hear men complain that women don’t send a follow-up message to thank them, but when you think about it, I believe more men than women actually don’t send thank-you messages.
They probably feel that saying “thank you” in person was enough.
As for the gift, she may simply not have been prepared that day and could be thinking about buying something before your next meeting, so it might be worth waiting a little longer.
That said, there’s also a chance you won’t receive anything in return. In that case, it’s probably best to think of her as someone who is fairly straightforward and casual about these things.
Even if she doesn’t give you anything in return, she remembers that you gave her a gift, so I believe her impression of you has improved.
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
If I were that man, I’d be panicking internally—“Oh crap, I didn’t prepare anything…”—and try to play it off like this:
“Sorry!! It’s not that I don’t want to give you a present. I really do—I want to give you one more than anything. I just kept thinking and thinking about what you’d be happy to receive, and before I knew it, today had arrived. Then I realized: I’ll let you choose! That solves everything! So let’s go to a department store right now. Pick out whatever you like!”
Even if she chose something over budget, I’d consider it my own fault for not buying something in advance.
I’d be freaking out. There are men like this too.
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I’m Mei Uehara from the Tokyo branch.
What a wonderful gesture—giving someone a present as a token of your appreciation!
It’s a little bittersweet, but I don’t think it’s good to expect anything in return.
I’m sure happiness will come to someone as thoughtful and considerate as you♪
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
Sometimes, men may simply feel inconvenienced by receiving something.
By the time they leave, they’ve already forgotten that they received it…
If you gave it as a token of your appreciation, you shouldn’t expect anything in return—at all. (There’s really nothing a man would be happy or grateful to receive from the woman’s side.)
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
This is just my personal opinion, but I think gifts are about expressing how you feel. If your papa (a male supporter) thinks the way I do, he may simply say “thank you” and leave it at that.
Again, just my opinion, but expecting something in return for a gift can feel like imposing your feelings on the other person. If they’re happy to receive it, they may thank you when the opportunity arises—but that depends entirely on how they feel, so you shouldn’t expect anything.
On the other hand, exchanging gifts can also help you judge whether the other person is kind and thoughtful.
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