Please advise on disagreements over the allowance amount.

This is Mei Uehara from the Tokyo branch. I thought it might be a good idea to focus on women who prioritize chemistry, aren’t used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), or don’t receive many offers, and arrange meetings with them. Sorry I couldn’t offer a more effective strategy.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. You’ve really become controlled by the allowance. If you’re caught in the grip of money, the only option is to leave the club. The fact that you chose C.D. presumably means you want to have enjoyable experiences and build good relationships. You’re unlikely to find a good relationship or compatible partner by focusing on the allowance and money. You’ll just keep wasting money. As a possible strategy, why not make offers to women who joined within the past three days, or to those who have been members for around three months? These days, many women are told that the average allowance is around ¥30,000–¥50,000, so they’re also using their heads to maintain successful arrangements. If you conduct yourself in a way that makes you appealing to them, I think you’ll be more likely to receive the allowance you want, along with having your other wishes fulfilled.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. Thank you for your question. > Tea or a light meal for 30 minutes I think this is where you’re going wrong. I assume your only goal is intimacy, so you don’t actually want to enjoy a meal and are only doing it because it’s the club’s rule. Naturally, if you’re not trying to make the date enjoyable, the only thing you can expect from your partner is money. Why don’t you think about making the woman enjoy herself? When you go on a date with an ordinary woman, is your only goal to get to the main event and then suddenly suggest going to a hotel? If you carefully think about how to win over someone you meet normally, I think you should take the same approach at a dating club. If you haven’t tried to charm anyone lately and simply want someone who will agree right away, you’d probably be better off using a reasonably priced adult service. I feel like the phrase “act according to the time, place, and occasion” was popular several decades ago. If you’re going to use a dating club, you need to know how to approach women in a way that suits that setting. There are plenty of options: taking her to a restaurant she’ll enjoy, showing her a beautiful night view, and so on. You should think about how to become the kind of man a woman sees as wonderful or kind. If that all sounds like too much effort, then naturally you need to increase the allowance. You have no appeal beyond money, after all. If everything is “I don’t want this” and “I don’t want that,” you’d be happier leaving the club and using an adult service instead.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > When the allowance amounts you each have in mind don’t match I completely understand. It’s only natural for women to try to ask for as generous an allowance as possible, while men naturally want to keep the allowance as low as they can（笑） It might be a good idea to discuss a trial period and a regular dating period. I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to negotiate a lower allowance during the arrangement. You should discuss the pros and cons of both ending the relationship and continuing it. That said, if you lower the allowance—whether it’s pay-per-meeting or monthly—I think you need to offer some form of security, such as promising a fixed minimum allowance each month. Both men and women should make their decision with a safe and comfortable arrangement as the priority.

I’m Tetsu, a male club member. I completely understand how you feel. The number “5” comes up a lot in the Q&A here, too, so I think people are starting to see it as the standard. When negotiating the allowance, I generally decline if there’s a significant gap between the woman’s expectations and mine. Even if I agree to her amount, I’d be all the more disappointed if, once we became intimate, she turned out to be completely passive. Since it’s relatively rare to feel truly compatible with someone, I’ve concluded that it’s best not to overextend yourself during allowance negotiations. I consider dining plus an adult relationship (intimate) to be a package arrangement. I take the woman’s preferences into account when choosing where to eat, and we go to places that are reasonably expensive. Sometimes I even travel to other areas. I explain that I’ve taken those factors into consideration when deciding the allowance, and ask her to understand. If I really like a woman but we can’t reach an agreement, I sometimes start seeing her under terms with no intimacy and negotiate again later. I’ve come to accept that sometimes things don’t work out even if you offer a higher allowance, while some women will continue seeing you even for less. That’s just how it is, so I try to take a long-term view. Since you mainly make offers to women in the C and D categories, I assume you naturally want an adult relationship (intimate). So perhaps my way of thinking isn’t really a good fit for you. From my perspective, though, if you think that way and simply want to satisfy your sexual desire, I find myself wondering why you don’t just go to a brothel. The fact that you don’t suggests that you’re looking for something in club women that you can’t find in women working in the adult-entertainment industry. If you think about what that “something” is, you may be able to see the value in participating in the club scene.

I’m Kazu, a male member. When many women state what they’re looking for, they say they don’t want “three” and that it’s too low. I’m sure there are women who are fine with three, but I feel that, in order to meet someone, you have to go through a lot of dinner-only meetings that end there. The only solution I can think of is to make lots of offers, since you have to find women who are okay with three.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. I get it. I really do. I totally get it. It feels like the idea that “the going rate is ¥50,000” has really taken hold, doesn’t it? Even though that should be up to the people involved (^_^;) Who was it—the scout? An affiliate marketer? Mac-san? Kazu-san? Who started spreading this “¥50,000 is the going rate” idea!? Who’s responsible?! Come out here! (Quote: Nobuhiko Takada) Lately, I feel like people are having too many unnecessary breakups because they’re so fixated on that ¥50,000 figure. I think both men and women should be more flexible and talk things through while meeting each other halfway. Women should properly assess a man’s finances—“I can probably get up to ¥○ from him,” or “He can probably manage around ¥○”—and then skillfully receive as much as they can from the people who are able to pay. I’d like women to look at things that way, haha. I feel like being too hung up on ¥50,000 isn’t good for either side. It’s the same with work and everything else: you charge more for expensive products when someone has money, and offer something more modest to people who don’t. There’s nothing wrong with lowering the service level and agreeing to ¥30,000–¥40,000, either. I think that kind of flexibility is fine, haha. That said, as a current strategy for male members, I recommend paying ¥50,000 or more for the allowance at first, thinking of it as an initial investment. Once you’ve earned her trust, you can discuss how you’ll see each other and the allowance. That’s how I do it. Well, actually, if I’m the one who brings up reducing the amount, things will definitely get awkward, haha. I guess all I can do is put in enough effort that she offers to lower it herself, haha. Also, try searching with terms like “living expenses + extra” or “target amount: ¥100,000.” It feels embarrassing to even offer such a stingy piece of advice…