I’m in Seattle.
They’re simply trying to negotiate your allowance down.
You can lower it if you’re comfortable with that, but ultimately, it’s up to you depending on how well you click.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
The monthly amount men spend on arrangements probably varies, but I imagine he may be running out of money.
You could either meet less often or reduce the allowance.
I think it would be best to discuss it together.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
From the details of your question, it sounds like he may be running short on money. I honestly can’t tell whether he means exactly what he says or if this is just a standard tactic to negotiate a lower allowance.
I imagine you probably believe what he’s telling you. However, putting it bluntly, we can’t rule out the possibility that he’s pretending to be in a difficult situation.
If you still believe him and feel that can’t be the case, then you should continue seeing him according to your own judgment. As for the terms of the arrangement, don’t bring them up yourself—let him raise the subject first. That should give you a clue as to whether his goal is to negotiate a lower allowance.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer as well.
Thank you for your question.
> Is it because he’s running out of money?
I think that’s probably the reason.
Assuming he lives on an allowance but has a decent amount of spending money, for example, he may have ¥200,000 available each month, which he usually spends on things like lunch, drinks, and hobbies.
But after actually meeting you:
¥50,000 went toward the setup fee,
¥70,000 plus ¥20,000 for the meal at the first meeting,
and ¥20,000 plus another ¥20,000 for the meal the next time.
That means he had already spent ¥180,000, leaving him unable to continue financially.
> I want to continue seeing him, so what should I do in this situation?
Since his available spending money will probably replenish next month, you could say something like, “I’d love to see you again next month.”
Even if you lower the allowance, the same thing will probably happen once he runs out of budget again.
It may be best to meet once a month and enjoy your time together that way.
Also, if he wants to see you again, I think he’ll find a way to come up with the money and contact you. It may be best to wait and see.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I assume he means he’s on a fixed allowance and has a limit on how much he can spend. I think everyone has a limit to what they can afford, though.
If you like him, why not discuss it with him—perhaps agree to a lower pay-per-meeting allowance, have dinner without an allowance, or switch to a monthly arrangement?
That said, bringing this up after only meeting twice suggests either that you really hit it off, or that he’s the kind of man who routinely uses this excuse to negotiate down the allowance.
