I'm a male member in my late 40s. I go on dates almost every week while also using a matchmaking site. The women I date are all beautiful and in their 20s or 30s, while most of the women I meet through matchmaking are in their 40s and have fairly average looks. As you can probably imagine—or perhaps don't even need to—I just can't seem to get motivated about finding a spouse. Have any of you answerers had a similar experience? How should I change my mindset and approach matchmaking? Sorry for the trivial question, but I'd appreciate any comments.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Love and marriage are two different things. They were separate to begin with, so comparing them in the first place is pointless. What are you looking for in marriage? To be together forever? To stay madly in love forever? If that’s what you’re thinking, you’re being far too idealistic. Marriage is training for life, haha. Legally and ethically, you’re obligated to support and care for your wife and children. If you want to stay in love forever, I don’t think you need to insist on getting married.

I’m in Seattle and around the same age. As a divorcee, I’d rather stay single for life unless I meet someone truly wonderful. If you’re a man who uses a dating club, wouldn’t you enjoy keeping up with club activities without having to get married?

Same here? I’m Gaku, over fifty. If you have money and are a decent person, then, like Cha Katō, even if you’re short and not handsome, a man can marry a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. Probably. When I say “if you have money,” an annual income of ¥10 million definitely won’t cut it. At least ¥40–50 million—maybe ¥100 million or more? Why does the person asking the question want to get married, anyway? If you’ve reached your late forties or fifties and still aren’t married, I think you’re better off staying single. If it bothers you, you can just say you’re divorced.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. I do think the best outcome is meeting someone you’re highly compatible with and naturally letting things progress from there. But I’m sorry to say this: many women looking for marriage are searching for points where they can compromise. They may even be more clear-eyed about it than men. It may not be a very romantic way to look at marriage or marriage hunting, but compromise is important when it comes to your partner. In other words, while compromising on what you expect from the other person, you also decide, “I’m going to devote myself to this person and cherish them for the rest of my life.” You don’t have to wait until you fall in love before dribbling toward the goal. It’s also important to start dribbling and move the ball forward even when you can’t see the goal yet. That’s how something may begin to develop. What you need is the will to kick the ball and the courage to take one step forward. Maybe it’s commitment. Without that will and courage, even winning over a woman who isn’t particularly invested in marriage hunting will be difficult, you know? My advice is that you don’t need to worry about whether you’re fully invested at this point. First, win over a good match through marriage hunting. Once she’s the one saying, “I want to marry you,” then you can take it from there.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. Thank you for your question. Apparently, at marriage agencies, most men want to marry young women without considering their own looks or age, so counselors explain the reality to help them find a match. With that in mind, if you remain registered with a dating club where you can date the kind of women you like without thinking about marriage, it’s only natural that you won’t be able to fully focus on finding a spouse. If you’re serious about getting married, I recommend focusing solely on marriage hunting for now. Find someone who is genuinely serious about marriage. What you do after that is entirely up to you.