I’m not getting any offers. Even when I do, they stop replying after meeting just once. It’s so hard to get by without money, and I can’t enjoy life because I’m broke. How can I stop feeling like I want to die?

I’m Marika. People who blame their lack of money for not enjoying life probably wouldn’t be all that happy even if they had money. The woman featured on the other day’s *Shiawase! Bonbii Gāru* didn’t have much money, but she looked like she was having a wonderful time. It was almost enviable—the way she lived her life. I’d rather hear stories like hers than stories from people who feel like they want to die. Of course things don’t last with men.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I think you may be caught in a vicious cycle. Men reach out to women because they’re looking for something positive—comfort, shared hobbies, attractiveness, intimacy, and so on. I don’t want to pay to spend time with someone who constantly focuses on negative feelings, such as having no money, struggling to get by, or being unable to enjoy life. Try finding small bits of luck in your daily life and telling yourself, “I’m pretty lucky,” “Today is fun,” or “I wonder what good things will happen next.” Start by cultivating even the smallest positive thoughts. Positive things tend to come to people with a positive outlook.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Sorry for joining the conversation so late m(_ _)m Thank you, Kazu. If you email me at the address below, I’d be happy to hear about your concerns. Please feel free to apply. 【How to apply】 ・Please send an email to the address below with the following information, ①–⑤: [ onayami@aol.com ] ① Your Universe Club membership number and club name ② The number of offers you’ve received so far ③ A brief summary of what you’d like to discuss ④ Your preferred consultation format (no meeting or meeting) ⑤ 【Additional】 Whether you’d like a tarot reading

I’m Fullerene, a male member! Your post is impressively made up almost entirely of negative statements... Since you’re getting offers, and neither your appearance nor the staff’s comments seem to be an issue, you clearly are getting opportunities. Whether you can make something of them is up to you. I think you’re being so negative that you’re driving them away. By the way, can you really “get rid of the urge to die,” as you put it? Feelings well up on their own, so trying to eliminate them entirely may be unrealistic. Rather, I think you should focus on how to live with those feelings in a healthier way. You may even forget about them in the process. I can understand: “Things are painful” → “I want to die” But: “I can’t enjoy myself” → “I want to die” feels like a bit of a stretch to me. I wonder if, somewhere in the back of your mind, there’s an obsessive belief that: “I have to be happy and enjoy my life.” Anyway, try talking to a doctor. That’s probably the quickest route.

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here as well. Thank you for your question. After reading what you wrote, I can’t help but wonder if you talk about the same things when you meet in person. If so, men may feel that they can’t continue the arrangement and decide to meet only once, with no subsequent meetings. Men understand that women register because they want money. But that’s a given, so there’s no need to say it outright. When a woman makes the time enjoyable, a man thinks, “I’d probably have a good time with her again,” and wants to meet her again. To make that happen, think about what you would want if you were in the opposite position—as the man—and what would make you happy. When you receive your next offer, I recommend putting those ideas into practice. That way, the relationship is more likely to last longer. And this “as a result” part is important: ultimately, you may no longer have to worry about money. > How can I get rid of these feelings of wanting to die when I feel this way? If you’ve reached the point of having those thoughts, I don’t think things will improve without counseling from a professional. If you haven’t reached that point yet, try thinking about how you can make the next man like you and build a long-term relationship. You may find that you’re too busy thinking about those things to dwell on those feelings. I think it’s good to explore different possibilities. Maybe that could even be the start of a diet—you probably wouldn’t need to spend any money. Or perhaps you might decide to go to the library and read all kinds of books. You could spend time reading there. If you think you might be able to meet more men through an app, you could start by treating the men you meet there as practice and studying what might make them want to continue seeing you. Think about what you can do right now, and try different things.

It’s Rin. When you’re short on time or money, it shows on your face, in your expressions, and in your overall presence. Men in dating clubs aren’t spending their hard-earned money just to throw it away. I think they’re paying for a reward for themselves—for renewed energy, a little happiness, and time like that... Can you offer the kind of warm, comforting time the person asking about this is looking for? First of all, rather than putting “I’m so sad and struggling—I’m going to die~” front and center, wouldn’t letting your genuine charm shine through be more effective? The fact that you’re receiving offers means you’re cute. So start by approaching things with a kind and warm heart...

I’m Kazu, a male member. If your problem is that things don’t continue after receiving an offer and going on a first date, why not consult the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) advice center? The solution to financial problems depends on their severity and your circumstances. I recommend addressing the underlying income issue—such as applying for welfare or getting a part-time job. If you want to die because you have no money, having money can make that feeling go away. But if you have enough to live on and simply can’t enjoy life because you don’t have money for luxuries, I don’t know what to tell you. Deal with it yourself; everyone else is living that way too.