I’m a woman in my 20s and a member. What’s the best way to politely turn down a gift from my papa, or are there any gifts I could request that he’d find cute?

Question

My birthday was last month, but I generally don’t mention it to my papas myself. I don’t hide it if the subject comes up, though, so two of the men I see knew about it. With one of them, I requested dinner as my gift, saying, “I’m really happy that you let me request dinner, so that’s my present!” He was satisfied with that. The other papa felt bad that he only found out after my birthday had passed, and even when I tried the same approach, he said, “Don’t hold back—think of a present you’d like!” But I’m just an ordinary person. If I want a bag and buy one myself for 20,000 or 30,000 yen, I get incredibly happy. I often mention that I don’t really have material desires and only keep the bare minimum of what I need. That’s true, and as a result, I don’t know much about brands either. So if I say I want something and my papa takes me to a store to buy it for me, I’d feel far too intimidated to use it casually! I’ve only been registered for six months, so even with the papa I’ve known the longest, it’s been just six months—and with the newest, four months. Even the restaurants they usually take me to are so nice that I still feel overwhelmed and haven’t gotten used to them. If it’s going to be a present, I’d honestly rather they keep seeing me and enjoying our time together until next year. I’m very fond of them, perhaps too much… But I know this is something I need to work on myself, and he keeps telling me to think of something, so I’m at a loss. The next thing I’m planning to buy for myself is an iPad, but that’s not cute at all. Maybe an Apple Watch like the one my papa wears would be better—but surely I should choose something a little more feminine? Jewelry? But that’s expensive! Lingerie is out since my papa isn’t someone I’m intimate with, and I can’t think of anything I need in cosmetics either… I have such a cheap imagination that I can’t figure out what kind of gift, and at what price point, would make my papa find me cute (>_<) If you have any suggestions, or stories about something a girl requested that made you lose interest, I’d really appreciate your advice. Thank you!

Answer 1

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Speaking from a man’s perspective, my honest reaction is that it’s a shame you’re worrying over something like this. Since it’s been going on for four months, he must like you. If you’ve built that kind of relationship, you just need to tell him honestly how you feel. I’m sure the papas are thinking, “Wait, are you really okay with that?” And when it comes to the iPad, it’s not about whether you seem cute or endearing—if he knows you’ll be happy to use it, I’m sure your papa would be happy to give it to you as a gift.

Answer 2

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here with an answer. Thanks for your question. “I’d like you to keep enjoying being with me until next year without getting bored. I know I’m seeing other people, but I really love you…” I think you can just say it exactly like that. I don’t know how things will actually turn out, but I think he’d be happy to hear it. However, if what you really want is an iPad, you could say something like: “I do want an iPad, but I’m okay because I can buy one myself.” Or: “I’ve always wanted to try wearing the same Apple Watch as you.” Something along those lines would be fine too. I think it’s okay to ask for anything you want. However, it may be over your papa’s budget, so adding something like, “This is what I’d like, but I’m okay because I can buy it myself,” can help keep things from getting awkward if it’s over budget. Also, if there’s a bag you want that costs around ¥20,000–¥30,000, I think it’s fine to name the specific brand as well. If you explain what you like about it, the man will probably understand and be more convinced.

Answer 3

I’m in Seattle. Your papa is lucky to be dating you. If it were me, I’d give him extra cash as a gift.

Answer 4

I’m Kazu, a male member. I may be in the minority, but I actually like women to say exactly what they think, like in the question above. I find women who speak honestly and openly much easier to deal with. When she says, “I was thinking of using the allowance I’m getting from you next time to buy an iPad,” I feel that also serves as a way of showing how much papa’s allowance is helping her. What do you think? Am I the only one who finds women asking for practical items cuter than women asking for expensive designer bags? I can’t help feeling that the papa who continues seeing such a down-to-earth questioner—the kind of woman who says, “I’m just an ordinary person”—probably thinks the same way I do.

I’m a woman in my 20s and a member. What’s the best way to politely turn down a gift from my papa, or are there any gifts I could request that he’d find cute?

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I’m a woman in my 20s and a member. What’s the best way to politely turn down a gift from my papa, or are there any gifts I could request that he’d find cute?

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