His wife saw me with my papa, and apparently things got really messy on his end. I’m scared she might see my personal information, so I immediately deleted our entire chat history and set my club profile to hidden. Neither of us has contacted the other at all since that day, so I have no idea what his situation is now.
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He pays well, we have fun together, and the time commitment is minimal, so I’d like to continue seeing him. I don’t think this will make him give up women entirely, so I’m thinking he might meet me again if I reach out. I’m trying to figure out the right timing—how long do you think I should wait after what happened before contacting him? Or should I assume it’s over and give up completely?
This is Joe.
It was such an interesting question that I felt compelled to answer.
You’re probably quite young, so if someone like Joe told you to wait ten years, you might find that hard to believe. But when you’re in your late 50s like me, ten years can feel like just yesterday.
What I’m trying to say is that the passage of time feels very different depending on your age.
I don’t mean this as criticism at all, but Flag Maker, who I understand is in their 30s, says you should quit immediately. Of course, that may well be the right answer. But an old guy like Joe doesn’t jump to conclusions, because experience has taught me that your conclusions can change after a few years.
Let me say this again: my opinion isn’t absolute. I simply think there’s no need to reach a conclusion right away. That said, since you’re young, you probably can’t imagine where you’ll be ten years from now.
As a compromise of sorts, the three or four months suggested by Paper Airplane could serve as one guideline. Joe’s suggestion would be to wait a year. If you still feel the same way then, perhaps that would be the time to take action.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If you wait three or four months, you may hear from her again.
And if she does reach out, it might turn into a long-term arrangement.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well.
Thank you for your question.
> I don’t think he’ll stop seeing women because of this, so I’m thinking of waiting for the right moment and contacting him, since he might meet me again if I reach out.
You seem to know him quite well, so that’s probably true. In that case, I think he also knows when the right time is, so it may be better to wait until he contacts you.
Of course, if his phone was taken away or disposed of, you may no longer be able to reach him. Even then, if he really wants to see you, he’ll contact the club.
With that in mind, if he had withdrawn from the club, rejoining—or putting his membership on hold? I’m not sure what that means—would probably be refused. Still, you might consider asking the club to pass along a message to him.
That said, we can’t tell you whether he’s still a member. If he has withdrawn, the message won’t reach him.
But if you want to do everything you can, I think it may be worth trying.
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