Tips
Nov 14, 2020 09:30
6 answers
Other
I’m Gaku, a male member.
I think the questioner’s view is pretty typical of how women generally feel about middle-aged and older men.
Papa-katsu means getting involved while understanding that reality, so you also need to recognize that you’re currently only able to meet men at that level.
That said, I do believe there are quite a few men who conduct themselves in a way that avoids making women feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
It’s made me realize once again that I need to keep making an effort in every respect so women won’t feel embarrassed to be seen with me.
Other
I’m Marika.
You can tell when you see a papa-katsu couple, can’t you? Somehow, I end up feeling embarrassed for them.
An older man with a bit of a belly who looks like he has money, and a young, beautiful woman.
Apparently, male members who browse a lot of the women’s profiles on Universe can recognize them too—“Oh, she’s one of the Black girls.”
As for me…
I’m in my mid-40s, so people often genuinely mistake us for a married couple. In a busy downtown area, they might think we’re having an affair. Maybe the fact that I don’t give off that papa-katsu vibe is one reason men offer to meet me.
I don’t really notice people staring, but if I were younger, I think I’d be extremely self-conscious about it.
To all the gentlemen out there, please be considerate when walking around with a younger woman.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
Thanks for your question.
Since we’ve all experienced papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I feel like you may be overthinking it a bit.
If they’re simply walking together, shopping, or having a meal, they could genuinely be a parent and daughter—or a grandfather and granddaughter.
But because we’re doing papa-katsu, we’ve developed this “condition” where even people who are actually related by blood can look like they’re doing papa-katsu.
And since we see other people that way, we assume that others must see us the same way.
The more people who experience papa-katsu, the more genuine parent-child pairs and grandfathers walking with their granddaughters may be mistaken for papa-katsu arrangements. But even if people see them that way, real family members don’t care.
Of course, the fact that you’re worried probably means your situation is different, and I think it’s very Japanese—and considerate—to be somewhat mindful of how you might look. But I do think you’re worrying too much.
If you’re that concerned, I think it would be better not to do it at all. Whether for work or anything else, avoid meeting older men so there’s no chance of being mistaken.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
He probably wants to show off that he’s with such a beautiful woman. It’s not about whether he’s mentally strong or weak.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
That papa sounds like he’s completely lost the plot. I recommend telling him plainly when something makes you uncomfortable.
Other
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Are you really walking around together in places where everyone can see you? At least I make sure to keep a reasonable distance in public. There’s not much I can do if she’s the one who comes closer, though (lol).
It’s not a matter of getting used to it. Those men are probably just acting on their own desires without thinking about anything else. Maybe you should consider whether it’s really a good idea to continue seeing someone like that.