A woman contacted me after about a month and asked, “Can you meet on [date]?” I immediately replied, “Sure,” but two days later she said, “I have plans, so I can’t.” This exchange has happened twice. My question is, what is she thinking when she contacts me? Is she sending the same message to several men and then meeting the one she likes best? Is she emotionally unstable? Or is she just trying to annoy me?

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. At this point, it’s less about what the woman is thinking and more about whether you’re willing to continue seeing her despite it all. I can’t say for sure what she really means, but if your interpretation is correct, you may need to do something to raise your priority among her papas (male supporters).

Imai, Chief of the Tokyo branch, will answer as well. It sounds like she’s a pretty fickle woman. You can’t help but think, “Then why ask me, ‘Can you meet on the [某]th?’” though. I don’t know what she’s like personally, but I get the impression that younger women often tend to take promises rather casually. (I may get criticized for putting it that way…) Perhaps “Can you meet on the [某]th?” doesn’t mean, “Let’s meet on the [某]th,” but rather, “I’ll just ask and see if you’re free.” She probably doesn’t mean any harm. It depends on the person, of course, but maybe her priorities are something like: Boyfriend/family > work/part-time job > papa That might be how she goes about her life.

I’m Meg, a female member. What an unfortunate situation. Since you replied right away, I’m guessing you do want to meet her, right? But if she already has several papa supporters, she may have found your reply a little curt. When you can’t tell what the other person is thinking, it’s natural to feel anxious or even a little scared. It might be different if you regularly chatted casually by email or LINE, though. Rather than meeting someone who treats it like a job, you’d probably be much happier meeting a girl who says, “I really like you♪” or “I can’t wait to see you.” Do you have a monthly arrangement like that already… or are you looking for someone like that? If so, please maintain the relationship—not just when you meet, but like you would take care of your beloved car. Some women may find frequent LINE messages annoying. Still, I think it’s important to show some consideration and take an interest in the other person. Sorry for being so outspoken—coming from a nagging middle-aged woman in her forties.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. Thanks for your question. It is pretty mysterious, isn’t it? This may be one of those things that’s hard to understand unless you’re a woman, but perhaps she’s in an emotionally unstable state—she wanted to see you because she was short on money, but then decided she didn’t really want to meet just for that reason. Maybe she’s torn between wanting to see you and not wanting to. Ultimately, though, she seems like someone you may not be able to meet. When she replies, “Okay,” to “Are you available on [date]?”, it might be a good idea to add a few more details to your response. Of course, that’s assuming she’s someone you also want to meet.