Recently, I happened to have several women ask me,
“Are you married?”
right after we met for the first time and I gave them their transportation allowance.
(Platinum C, Black B)
I’d already decided in my head that the meeting was over!!!
“No, I’m not. (smiling)”
“Do you have a boyfriend? (straight-faced)”
“…Yes.” or “…No.”
“Oh, I see. (blank expression)”
And just like that, the conversation loses all energy, so I wrap things up quickly.
For those of you answering, when you decide you want to end things right after meeting someone, how do you handle it?
And please don’t advise me to “go through with it” or “get it done.” I’m not a monkey, so I don’t need that kind of advice. I don’t want to waste my time.
Well, maybe I’ll consider it when I’m a little older, but I’m not interested right now.
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
Thanks for your question.
Questions saying things like “I don’t need answers like ○○” have come up several times before. Are they all from the same person?
You’re asking a question, yet saying you don’t need certain kinds of answers… It’s like, how much more demanding can you get? At that point, maybe you don’t need any answers at all. (lol)
And, just like the previous questions, this one also has a lot of parts that are hard to understand…
Did you decide to end things because they asked, “Are you married?”
Or had you already decided to end things with someone, and then they asked, “Are you married?”
Which was it?
And then there’s this seemingly unrelated question about what you do when you want to end things immediately after meeting someone…
So what was the whole “Are you married?” part about?
Was this just a humblebrag along the lines of:
“People ask me that all the time.
I mean, am I popular or something?”
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Looking back, I’ve met women I just couldn’t really get a conversation going with.
Of course, it’s important to make an effort to keep the conversation lively with someone like that. But I also think it’s important to show her that it’s okay if the conversation doesn’t flow—that you won’t dislike her just because of that, so she can relax. There have been times when I continued seeing someone while matching her quieter pace.
When you do that, you gradually start to notice the other person’s good qualities.
Only looking for the parts that work in your favor—or seeking out people who are convenient for you—may sound harsh, but I feel it ultimately increases the chances of being deceived. If you’re okay with that, then that’s fine.
As for what I do when I want to end the meeting right away, I’m a bit of a coward, so I just handle things politely and unobtrusively to avoid getting negative feedback sent to the club by the woman.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the way all the male respondents handle things is just too perfect—it’s blinding.
That’s all.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
There have been times when I didn’t feel like sleeping with someone, so I ended things with dinner only (no intimacy), but so far I’ve never wanted to leave while we were having dinner.
I honestly can’t imagine being irritated enough to feel that way, but if something happened that annoyed me so much I wanted to leave right after meeting, I’d probably just say, “Sorry, I’m going to head out,” and leave.
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I’m Fulleren, a male member!
Of the people I’ve met through Universe, there hasn’t been anyone I immediately wanted to part ways with.
When I’ve felt that way through other channels, I’ve said, “Sorry, something suddenly came up at work, so let’s call it a day,” given them just their transportation money, and sent them on their way.
“Work” is such a convenient excuse.
More than that, though, I’m curious why you immediately wanted to end the meeting when you were asked,
“Are you married?”
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
It’s a shame that things keep not clicking for you.
As for how I handle situations like this, I make enough conversation that the woman doesn’t feel uncomfortable, finish the meal or whatever we had planned, and then call it a day.
I don’t think bringing the conversation down, as you suggested, is the right thing to do. Nobody gains anything from making the atmosphere awkward.
It’s not good to take your frustration out on someone else just because things didn’t go the way you wanted. If you really want to leave as soon as possible, I think it would be more considerate to say something like, “You’re not really my type. I’m sorry, especially since you took the time to meet me,” give her transportation money, and say goodbye.
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