A man I met for the first time after receiving an offer asked for my full name.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. Thank you for your question. I think there are quite a few men who ask for a woman’s real name. However, some women continue using only their club name, so rather than worrying too much about the fact that he asked, I think it would be best to politely dodge the question. There may be persistent people, but if that happens, please mention it in your post-date feedback. As for him asking you to come to his home on the second date, if he’s simply stating his preference, I think it’s best to take it as, “There are people like that.” It does seem suspicious to go to a stranger’s home, so I don’t recommend it, but try deflecting smoothly by saying something like, “Would it be possible for us to meet at a hotel instead?” There are all kinds of men out there. I hope you can at least tolerate some negotiation over the terms. At the same time, if you feel someone is suspicious, don’t go with them. Protect yourself, carefully consider what the best choice is, and make sure you won’t regret it later. Going to someone’s home after only about two dates still seems far too dangerous to me.

This is Kobayashi from the Tokyo branch. Even if he seemed like a nice person (and even if the allowance was generous), that’s a pretty nonsensical question to ask on a first date… There are plenty of other wonderful men out there, so I hope you won’t get discouraged and will continue meeting people.

I’m Kazu, a male club member. I’ve also had a woman I made an offer to ask for my real name when we first met. I gave her my club name again, but it made me uncomfortable—I wondered if she was trying to dig up my personal information online. When she said, “That’s your club name, right?” I replied, “Yes. I use my club name here at the club.” I don’t want to date someone with a questionable sense of boundaries, so we finished our meal and parted ways without discussing any future arrangements. Later, when she messaged me inviting me on another date, I wondered if she was the type of woman who wanted to sleep with someone only after going through the kind of steps you would in a relationship outside the club—including getting to know his real name. Perhaps that man was also dreaming of a similar progression, like dating outside the club. Even so, I don’t think you need to indulge his fantasy. The genders are reversed, but I chose not to continue seeing her.

I’m a female member, Rin. I just smile and say I won’t tell him, then give him a different name. I don’t go to his house. You really need to protect yourself properly. How would you feel about this? “Ugh, that’s creepy… I’ll pass”… right?